Funny Photos Contest

INSURANCE DILEMMA

2011-11-30T18:23:00.000-08:00

In addition to Medicare, I pay $170 a month for my current supplemental health insurance policy. It includes doctor, hospital, and prescription drugs and covers everything. But I just learned I would only have to pay $61 if I purchased a policy from the Humana Company, a savings of $1,200 a year.

It would seem the decision is simple. However, I have two concerns. In addition to Humana’s $61 monthly fee, I would have to pay a $10 deductible every time I visit my primary physician and $35 for every visit to a specialist. Since I rarely go to the doctor, the deductibles do not really pose any problem. But heaven forbid, if I were to break a leg or something, it might end up costing me a lot. Although if the costs didn’t exceed, $1,200, I would still be ahead.

But my second concern probably carries a lot more weight. My current insurance carrier pays me $200 a year if I exercise 10 times a month. I have MS and it is important for me to swim at my health club regularly. At the same time, I must admit, my basic nature is to be lazy. And so the $200 is an excellent incentive. Without it, I know that more often than not, I would simply stay at home instead of going to the health club to exercise.

And so, the choice boils down to save a lot of money or exercise 10 times a month. And though I hate to give up $1200, my lazy nature leaves me no option. I have to stay with my more expensive insurance company, to insure that I exercise and keep my MS in check.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

HUMANA INSURANCE

2011-11-29T09:17:00.000-08:00

The Other day, my cousin told me that in addition to his Medicare insurance he pays only $31 a month for all his supplemental insurance from Humana. That sounded great to me as, I pay about $175. And so, I immediately called Humana. Sure enough, I too could purchase their policy for the same price. Thus, I made an appointment to meet with one of their representatives.

But later in the day, the more I thought about it the more doubts I had. As a result, I called Humana back to cancel the appointment. You can imagine my frustration when I called and was on hold for 30 minutes while they transferred my call several times. “How ridiculous,” I thought.

So finally, I told the last person with whom I spoke, I was tired of waiting on the phone for such a long time. I said, “I didn’t have to call your company. I could have simply not shown up for the appointment. But that would be rude and I didn’t want to inconvenience some unsuspecting salesperson. Furthermore, if they couldn’t help me in the next couple of minutes, I would hang up.” Well guess what? They took care of it immediately …. thank goodness.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

NEW SWIMMING CAP

2011-11-28T17:03:00.000-08:00

I went to Walgreens this afternoon to purchase some vitamins, cosmetics, etc. But at the top of my list I had written new swimming cap so that I could go swimming tomorrow at the Health Club. Unfortunately, when I asked one of the employees where to find swimming caps, she told me we don’t sell them in the winter.

I couldn’t believe it. For years, I have bought swimming caps at Walgreens. And what about all the people who belong to health clubs and swim regularly? In addition, what about all the people who spend their winters in warm climates? At least I thought, I would ask to have Walgreens order one for me. To my chagrin, the manager said that she looked on her computer and there were NONE available. Of course, I was disappointed and frustrated.

I could always buy one on my computer, but it would take awhile before I would receive it and I would also have to pay for shipping and handling. In the meantime, when I finished shopping at Walgreens, I stopped at the health club. Although, I couldn’t swim I would ride one of their exer-cycles. As I walked in, I casually and half-heartedly asked the guy sitting at the front desk, “Do you happen to sell swimming caps?” And OMG was I ever shocked when he said, “Yes.” I never dreamed I would receive a positive response and I was almost ready to kiss the young man !!!!!

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

BATHING CAP

2011-11-26T16:54:00.000-08:00

When I finished putting on my bathing suit today at the health club, I suddenly remembered that last week, the strap on my bathing cap broke. Well, no problem … I always keep an extra new pair of goggles and another new bathing cap in my gym bag. But when I reached in my bag, to my horror I discovered, that the cap was not a new one, but an old one that I had worn a few years ago. In addition, it had deteriorated and almost fell apart in my hands.

What a bummer. I was ready to jump in the pool, but now I couldn’t go swimming, as the water would totally mess up my hair. For a few minutes, I just sat there feeling very irritated. But then, I realized it wasn’t a complete loss. I could get in pool and walk in the water – forward, backwards, and sideway -- as I do every time I go swimming.

But when I climbed out of the pool, I though to myself, “It served me right.” When I arrived at the health club, I noticed a van pull into the handicap parking space next to me. The female driver didn’t look disabled and her pre-teen daughter got out of the car. I asked the young girl when she walked past, “What disability does your Mom have?” She just kind of shrugged her shoulders and I said, “Tell your Mom that’s a no-no.”

I immediately regretted it. The young girl had nothing to do with it and if her Mom had walked past, I probably wouldn’t have said anything to her. I felt like a jerk and even thought that surely something unpleasant would now happen to me. Sure enough, one bad turn deserves another -- and I got it.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

GOVERNMENT COMPLAINTS

2011-11-25T10:22:00.000-08:00

The people who complain about our government are nothing more than a bunch of grinches. There are problems everywhere in life – marriage, business, relationships, etc – but focusing on what’s wrong accomplishes nothing. When is the last time these complainers volunteered at a local school to read to kids, to join the PTA, to volunteer on Thanksgiving to feed the less fortunate?

People who think positively are healthier and live longer than those who don’t. What this country needs is a good shot of optimism. And unfortunately, all the complainers are just dragging us down.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

SKYPE CALL ON THANKSGIVING

2011-11-24T13:18:00.000-08:00

At 4:30 a friend and I are going out for Thanksgiving dinner. And since I’m not busy this afternoon preparing a huge dinner for company, I decided to call my cousin in Door Country to wish him a Happy Thanksgiving.

I turned on my cell phone to make the call. I always use it for long distance calls as every month I can make 300 minutes of free phone calls on my cell phone. When I called, the phone rang only once before the answering machine prompted me to leave a message. I assumed that since the phone only rang once, instead of the normal 4 or 5 that maybe he was home and talking on his phone.

And so instead of turning off my phone which I always do when I’m not using it, I placed it on the table and decided I would call my cousin again in a few minutes. But almost immediately my cell phone started ringing. What a shock. Since most of the time my cell phone is turned off, I receive very few calls.

But how lucky for me. It was my daughter-in-law calling. I asked if they were near their computer so that we could switch from our cell phones to Skype. She said yes and what a joy to see my granddaughter on Thanksgiving.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

CONDO PRESIDENT

2011-11-23T12:48:00.000-08:00

As President of my condo association, when something goes wrong, my phone starts ringing and the complaints begin. So yesterday, when we received the first snowfall of the season, a full half-inch, I knew I had to cut off the grievances “at the pass”.

Every year the company that plows our private drive, places both sand barrels on our property and stakes around the road to guide the plows. A few days before the snowfall, the company had set up the stakes but not the sand barrels. Luckily, the day before the snowfall, by sheer coincidence, I happened to call the company to remind them of the exact locations of where to place the barrels.

And so the morning that I woke up and saw the snow, I knew some owners would call me unless I took some action. Thus, I immediately sent an email to all the owners stating, “Just wanted to let you know, that I called Bruces yesterday (what a coincidence ;-) to remind them where to place our sand barrels. Unfortunately, they placed the stakes around our roadway the other day, but didn’t get to the sand barrels in time. Who would have guessed we would have snow today when the temperature was almost 60 on Sunday? On the other hand, what else could we expect … this is Wisconsin. But they’ll be bringing the sand soon. Sorry for any inconvenience.”

I guess my email did the trick. Not one owner called me. Whewwwww !!

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

MY SON

2011-11-22T13:36:00.000-08:00

My son is wonderful and I love him dearly. But more often than not, he does not respond to my emails which of course disappoints me very much. And so last week, I thought maybe I should send him a message stating, “I sent you a couple emails over the past two weeks, to make arrangements to Skype so that I can see and talk to my granddaughter, Lily. But you have ignored me.”

I admit it would be a harsh and unpleasant email and I would not like someone sending such a message to me. Well luckily I never mailed it. Lo and behold, this morning my son sent me an email, “Hi Mom, I’ll try to Skype in the next few days. Sorry but I had the flu.”

I felt like a creep and I should know better. This is not the first time I think about admonishing him. But each time, before I take any action, he does something to reaffirm to me what a great son he is. Thank goodness, I’ve never acted on my impulses and in the future, I should always remember this important lesson.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

TWO LOAVES OF BREAD

2011-11-21T15:10:00.000-08:00

When I check out at the grocery store, I separate my purchases into two parts – perishables and non-perishables. And I have a good reason for doing this. I live in a three-story, townhouse condominium with the garage in the basement and kitchen on the first floor. So when I bring home 10 –12 bags of groceries, I don’t have to carry all of the bags upstairs to my kitchen at one time.

Immediately on returning home from the grocery store, I carry my perishables up to the kitchen. But I leave the other groceries in the trunk of my car so that I can bring them in the next day. Well, yesterday when I finished putting away the milk, ice cream, and other perishables, I realized my two loaves of bread were missing. Good grief I thought, “I must have placed them with my non-perishable items even though I also put them right into the freezer to stay fresh until I need them.” Oh well, there was no harm done. They would be fine in my car for another day.

But, today when I brought the rest of my groceries upstairs to my kitchen I saw there was NO bread at all. Obviously the young woman who had packed my groceries and placed the bags in the grocery cart left the bag with my bread on the checkout counter. No problem, I looked over my sales receipt and found the two loaves listed. So I called the store and sure enough, they had my bag of two breads plus my dozen eggs.

That was the good news. But the bad news was that now I had the hassle of going back to the store to pick them up. Luckily, they told me that if I call the store when I pull up in front they would bring my groceries out to me.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

BRIDGE PARTNER

2011-11-20T10:19:00.000-08:00

My Mom and I played duplicate bridge for years before she passed away. But since 2008, I have not found a new regular partner and so now time and again I play with different people. I enjoy duplicate bridge but two things frustrate me. To begin with most of the people I play with are very nice, but some take the game too seriously and after each hand immediately tell me about the things that I should have done better. They mean no harm, but their constant criticisms are not pleasant. In addition, more often than not we place near the bottom.

But yesterday, I luckily found a new partner. Usually a few days before the game, I look through my bridge directory and call several people to ask if they can play. Well the other day, I called a number of players, but none of them were available. So, I started on page one of the directory to look through the book for a possible partner. Finally, near the end, I spotted Sky’s name. I had seen her often at the bridge club and she seemed very nice. Thus, I called her and was pleased when she agreed to play. But best of all, she was also a very polite lady and never found fault with me even once and at the end of the day we discovered we came in second place. WooHoo…Happy Day. Of course, we then decided we definitely want to play bridge together more often.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

THANKSGIVING

2011-11-19T15:28:00.000-08:00

When my parents were alive, we always spent Thanksgiving at their house. But now that they are gone, and the rest of my family have “scattered,” I have to make other plans. My son and his family live in Chicago, my daughter and her family go to her in-law's farm so that my son-in-law and grandsons can deer hunt, and my sister lives in Las Vegas.

Luckily, I have good friends and for the past few years four of us have celebrated Thanksgiving together. But this year, two of them have traveled out west and so Sam and I decided the two of us would go out for dinner ourselves at a nice restaurant. Unfortunately, when I started calling a few restaurants I learned many will close that day.

Fortunately, we finally found a place that will open at 5:00 p.m. on Thanksgiving and so that’s where we will go and afterwards, we are going to rent a movie. Meantime, when anyone asks what am I making for Thanksgiving, I smile and say, “I’m making Reservations”.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

WALKER RECALL

2011-11-18T16:40:00.000-08:00

Yesterday at the health club, a friend asked if I had yet signed a petition to recall Governor Walker. “No,” I said, “I want to, but where can I find one?” She proceeded to tell me that on the following day she and a group of other volunteers would collect signatures from 3:00 – 4:00 at a park close to my home. I made a note of the information and told her I would certainly try to stop at the park on my way home.

Unfortunately, I had previously made plans for Friday afternoon and didn’t know if I could arrive at the park on time. However, I needn’t have worried. When I arrived home from the health club, I received an email from a neighbor letting me know if anyone in the area wanted to sign a petition, she would happily stop by and let us sign hers. Furthermore, another friend I talked to later that night told me I could download a form on the Interent, complete it, and mail it in.

As they say when it rains it pours. When I woke up Thursday I had no idea where I could sign a recall petition. But by the end of the day, I had several options.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

SMALL WORLD

2011-11-17T19:27:00.001-08:00

My phone rang early this morning and the woman on the other end called to cancel our appointment for tomorrow. On Friday afternoons, as a volunteer at the local senior center, I tutor, for free, anyone who needs help using their computers. She apologized profusely and proceeded to explain why she could not make it. Three weeks ago her 14 year-old granddaughter came to live with her and her husband. The girl’s parents had died and now the girl would be living with her 80 year old grandparents.

After explaining these circumstances to me she said, that on Friday afternoon, the Waunakee High School football team was playing in the championship game and she needed to drive the young girl and her friend to the game. “What an interesting coincidence,” I said, “my grandson is one of the boys on the football team.” As my grandson is 16 and a sophomore, I asked if her granddaughter was a freshman. “No,” she answered, “she’s in eighth grade.”

And so we rescheduled the appointment and said goodbye. But later in the day it occurred to me that not only would her granddaughter be watching my grandson playing football, but the young girl no doubt also knew my younger grandson who is in eighth grade and most likely in some of her classes. Sure enough, I called my youngest grandson and he confirmed that he does know her. What a small world !!

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

SMALL WORLD

2011-11-17T19:27:00.000-08:00

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

FORGETFUL FRIENDS

2011-11-16T15:46:00.001-08:00

Without a doubt, as we age our memories fade. And over the last few days I have experienced this problem with three different friends.

Last Thurs, I called a friend to invite her to go out to lunch and to the free movie at the Senior Center. As she wasn’t home, I left a message on her answering machine. Unfortunately instead of calling my home phone she dialed my cell phone, even though I have asked her many times NOT to call my cell phone. I keep it in my car for emergencies, and if she calls on a day I don’t go out, then I miss her call. Too bad she forgot and mistakenly called my cell phone.

On Friday, I called another friend to confirm our plans to play bridge at the local duplicate bridge club on Saturday. Unfortunately, she had forgotten that we had set the date a few weeks ago and recently made other plans. So I didn’t get to play bridge the next day.

On Monday, I called a third friend to find out what time she wanted to meet for lunch on Tuesday and go shopping as we had planned a few days earlier. I couldn’t believe it when she said, she was so sorry that she made a mistake. When she agreed to our plans she had forgotten that she had already scheduled a previous engagement. Unbelievable.

Of course, I was frustrated, but then again, I didn’t want to cast any blame. I too have been guilty of forgetting. In fact, I still remember one such occasion which occurred years ago when I was much younger.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

FORGETFUL FRIENDS

2011-11-16T15:46:00.000-08:00

Without a doubt, as we age our memories fade. And over the last few days I have experienced this problem with three different friends.

Last Thurs, I called a friend to invite her to go out to lunch and to the free movie at the Senior Center. As she wasn’t home, I left a message on her answering machine. Unfortunately instead of calling my home phone she dialed my cell phone, even though I have asked her many times NOT to call my cell phone. I keep it in my car for emergencies, and if she calls on a day I don’t go out, then I miss her call. To bad she forgot and mistakenly called my cell phone.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

OLIVE GARDEN

2011-11-15T12:26:00.000-08:00

I arrived at the Olive Garden at noon and sat down to wait for my two friends. After ten minutes the hostess asked if I would like to be seated and she would bring my friends to the table. I expected my friends any minute and so preceded to the table.

However, the few minutes turned in to 10 minutes, then 20 minutes, and then 25 minutes. By then I knew my friends would not be joining me for lunch. I had just confirmed our plans the day before and could not imagine what happened to them. “Oh well,” I thought, “I’m here, I’m hungry, and I might as well eat lunch”

I ordered the food and my waitress was so sweet in her concern for me that my friends had not shown up. Nevertheless, I ate my lunch -- their wonderful all-you-can-eat soup and salad -- and enjoyed every bite of it.

When I finished, my waitress brought the check, but to my complete surprise she told me my meal was on the house !!!! “What,” I exclaimed. I could hardly believe that they would offer such a nice gift. They said it was a shame my friends had not come and they were happy to do it. I greatly appreciated their kind gesture, tipped the waitress generously, and told them I would write about their kindness in my blog.

Now I just hope that everyone who reads my blog will eat at the Olive Garden soon. The food is great and I know you will enjoy it!

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

SPONSOR

2011-11-14T09:00:00.001-08:00

Shortly after I launched my website, www.FunnyPhotosContest.com, I received an email from a software developer offering to donate prizes to my contestants. He sold a photo organizing program and would send it to my winners. I was thrilled on two counts. First, I was flattered that he had found my website and second, I was pleased he was willing to contribute a gift to my winners.

When I told my sister, she kind of scoffed at the proposal and said, “How do you know it’s even legitimate?” But here it is five years later and he is still a loyal sponsor. In fact, today he sent me a very pleasant and surprising email. Every month, I send him the name of the winner and he sends me the serial numbers for his software that the winner can download from his website, www.picajet.com. But today, to simplify the process, he emailed me 12 serial numbers for the winners of the next 12 months. What a wonderful gesture on his part and what tremendous appreciation I have for him.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

BIRTHDAY PRESENT

2011-11-13T09:10:00.000-08:00

Recently at a birthday party someone asked the group, “What was your favorite present?” I thought about the question for a minute or two and could not think of a single present I had ever received on my birthday. My Mom and Dad had always given me money that I appreciated, but most of the time I just put it in the bank and waited until I found something I wanted to buy.

But then it hit me. I did receive a spectacular birthday present one year -- when I turned 16. I had passed my driver’s test and my Dad gave me a gold key to the family car!!! It was a great and very unique present. No one else I ever knew had a gold key to their cars.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

WISCONSIN WEATHER

2011-11-12T16:54:00.000-08:00

They say that if you don’t like the weather in Wisconsin, just wait a day or two. And that is certainly true. In fact this past week provides a perfect example. On Sunday when I drove to Chicago to see my two-year old granddaughter, the temperature reached close to 60 degrees. It was a lovely day. But on Wednesday we received a combination of rain, sleet, and almost an inch of snow!! By Friday the snow had all melted and on Saturday the temperature once again reached close to 60 degrees.

As a friend once said, in Wisconsin, don’t be surprised to have winter, spring, summer, and fall weather all within one week.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

HUMIDIFIER

2011-11-11T14:56:00.000-08:00

Years ago, when my children were little, my friends and I all read and followed the advice of Dr. Spock, the well-known baby doctor. Most was probably not that great, but one pearl of wisdom has proved very valuable – use a humidifier to help prevent colds, coughs, etc. And so ever since, I have dragged my small humidifier out of the closet every October and filled it every night to moisten the air and keep me healthy during the winter.

It has certainly made a difference for me and the other night on the radio an announcer reinforced the importance of a humidifier by telling his listeners that it can even help prevent the flu. Since my son got the flu twice last month and his wife caught it once, I immediately passed the information on to him. Here’s hoping it helps them as well.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

FREE CRUISE

2011-11-10T16:13:00.000-08:00

Telemarketers are certainly creating clever ways to sell their “wares”. Yesterday, when I answered my phone, the voice on the other end was a recording stating that I had won a free cruise. I simply needed to answer a few short political questions to be eligible. Why not I thought, and pressed “1” to continue.

However, the three survey questions were too mundane to be of any value. They were 1) rank how Congress is doing. 2) Rank how the Senate is doing. And 3) Rank how the President is doing. When I finished my responses, a human voice came on the phone and said the taxes and some other minor expense were not included.

At that point, I realized I was one of those fools who are born every minute. And I thought to myself, “I should have known…There’s no free lunch.” So I politely replied, “Thank you, but sorry I’m not interested.”

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

FIFTIETH BIRTHDAY

2011-11-09T16:47:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine turned 50 today and when I called to say Happy Birthday, it reminded me of the day I turned 50. I didn't mind reaching that significant milestone. Actually, I just couldn't believe I had lived A HALF A CENTURY. I remember waking up and thinking that it just didn’t seem possible that I had lived so many years.

But then again, when I turned 50, Reader’s Digest sent me a letter wishing me a happy 50^th. And I was so mad at them for flaunting my age, I canceled my subscription !!!!!

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

INDIAN RESTAURANT

2011-11-08T10:30:00.000-08:00

Although I retired several years ago, once or twice a year I meet a few of the women I formerly worked with for dinner. Occasionally, we meet at the Olive Garden and I always enjoy my meals. But my friends love Indian food and we occasionally, meet at one of the local Indian restaurants. Unfortunately, I hate Indian food. I just don’t care for curry or the Indian spices.

The first couple of times, I asked my daughter who does like Indian food to recommend something I might like. But that didn’t do any good, I just didn’t like the taste of the food I ordered. But last week when my friends and I met for our long overdue dinner at an Indian restaurant, I decided to ask the waiter if there were any foods on the menu that had NO cury or Indian spices.

Lucky for me he suggested the appetizers and there were several that appealed to me. I ended up ordering their chicken strips deep-fried in a peanut batter. And when they arrived at the table, I was pleased that they not only looked good, but they tasted great. Now I won’t have to dread our bi-annual dinners at an Indian restaurant.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

LIBRARY CARD

2011-11-07T17:23:00.000-08:00

About 10 years I started making weekly trips to the library to borrow books on tape. Since then I have enjoyed listening to hundreds of books. But today as I pulled up to the library I realized I had forgotten to bring my library card. This has never happened to me, but I had changed purses and unfortunately I left my card in the other purse.

I assumed they might not give me the books, but hoped they knew me well enough to check out the books without the card. I certainly did not have time to go home and make a second trip to the library. To my surprise, I explained to the woman at the desk what happened and she told me it was no problem at all. In fact, she has checked so many books for me over the past several years, that she didn’t even ask my name.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

TRIP TO CHICAGO

2011-11-06T17:57:00.000-08:00

My daughter, Cathy, my grandson, Jacob, and I drove to Chicago today to visit my son, Rick, and his family. As Jacob just turned 16 in October and passed his driving test the following week, I knew he would enjoy driving my car and so I gave him my keys and off we drove. However, I did choose to sit in the back seat. I would let Mom sit in the front seat to “supervise.” Jacob is a good driver and didn’t really need any supervision, except he’s a teenage boy and as you would expect, every so often Mom had to remind him to slow down.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

VISITING LILY

2011-11-05T18:19:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, my daughter, Cathy, and I are driving to Chicago to visit my son, Rick, my daughter-in-law, Jen, and my two year-old granddaughter, Lily. I don’t get to see Lily often and so I always look forward to our visits. But tomorrow’s visit may have special significance.

Recently Jen sent me a photo of Lily wearing a cute little pink sweatshirt type jacket. I smiled when I saw it, because I own a very similar jacket. And so, I plan to wear it tomorrow and hope Jen will take a photo of Lily and me wearing our matching jackets. We will surely look just like twins …..

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

GAS STATION SURPRISE

2011-11-04T16:59:00.000-07:00

I’ve known for a long time that when a car with a disabled license plate drives up to a gas station, the law requires the gas station attendant to fill the gas tank, but only charge the driver the lower self-serve gas price. Although I’ve had M.S. for 40 years, I can pump my own gasoline and so I always have. However, today when I pulled into the gas station, where I have purchased gas for years and years, one of the staff came up to my car, before I got out and offered to pump the gas for me.

I greatly appreciated his thoughtful gesture and thanked him very much. In addition, when he finished I told him to tell his boss to give him a raise. But I smiled when he replied, “Oh, I just got one last week!”

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

2011-07-29T13:40:00.000-07:00

I'm looking for some home remedies to get rid of wrinkles.

CATHY’S NEW JOB

2011-04-12T17:14:00.001-07:00

I am so proud of my children. And today I have good cause to, once again, be so very proud of my daughter. On Friday, after a job interview, she called to tell me how it went. As she talked I could tell the employer would surely offer her the job. Since she has had almost 20 years of experience as a claim’s adjuster at one of the largest insurance companies in the area, she was bringing extensive knowledge and well-honed skills to the new insurance company she was applying to. In addition, she is not only very intelligent, responsible, and efficient, but she is a very warm and friendly person with a delightful personality.

And sure enough, she called me today to tell me they offered her the job. Of course, there will be some trade-offs. But she was ready for a change and time to move on.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

WRONG EYE APPOINTMENT

2011-04-09T15:13:00.000-07:00

I hate waking up early. After all, now that I’m retired, there’s no reason to wake up early and so I go to bed later and sleep later in the morning – usually until 8:30 or 9:00. However, when I had to schedule a follow-up eye appointment, the only time my doctor could see me was on Monday, April 4^th at 8:40 in the morning.

Oh well, if I have to wake early I just have to. But to make it worthwhile, I decided to take along my grocery list so that I could do my grocery shopping after the eye exam. Unfortunately, when I arrived at the clinic, the receptionist told me my appointment was on Friday, April 8^th!!! I couldn’t believe it as I had marked my calendar carefully when I made the appointment. Thank goodness I had planned on shopping so that I at least accomplished something and didn’t wake up early in vain.

But darn it. I then had to wake up early again four days later for my eye exam.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

PENS FROM ANCHOR BANK

2011-04-08T14:54:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow about a dozen women from my high school graduating class will meet for lunch at Olive Garden. As we have all enjoyed our class reunions so much, we decided that those of us who still live in Madison should meet for lunch once or twice a year and enjoy each other’s company more often. And so, I organized our luncheon.

Last week, one of the women said to me, “I hope we have name tags.” We graduated 50 years ago and have certainly all changed. It hadn’t occurred to me and so I was glad she suggested it. Since only 15 ladies will attend we won’t have a table for “Everyone” to check in and so I thought, I would just place a nametag next to each person’s plate.

But then I realized we would need some pens. And voilla I had a great idea. I called my bank and asked if they would like to donate 15 pens for our reunion. I didn’t know how they would respond. But, I was presently surprised when they said, “Yes.” You know what they say, “Be careful what you wish for.”

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

CAPTION CONTEST COINCIDENCE

2011-04-06T14:38:00.000-07:00

I have operated my website, www.FunnyPhotosContest.com for six years and once or twice over that time, a couple different people will submit similar captions to my “Caption Contest.” But today I encountered an incredible coincidence.

Today, to my surprise, when I checked the entries, I received two entries within a few hours of each other that were identical !!! One arrived from Fort Madison, Iowa and the other from Dallas, Texas. And I laughed out loud as I read each of them, “elHHello, I’m Mister Ed.” Actually, there was a slight difference, but so insignificant I hardly noticed. One ended with no punctuation mark and the other ended with three exclamation marks !!! So what do I to if the Judge picks that caption as the winner? Guess they’ll simply have to split the prize.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

OVERHEAD CAR LIGHT

2011-04-04T16:06:00.000-07:00

During the first four or five years I owned my 12-year old car, I had to buy a new overhead light in my car every year. I don’t know why it kept burning out, but it did. oweHowever, during the past several years the light has worked just fine.

And so it surprised me last night, when I got out of my car, that the light wouldn’t turn off. Well, I couldn’t leave the light on all night as the battery would die and I had an early eye doctor appointment this morning. So, I moved the light switch back and forth a couple of times to see if I could get it to work and/or turn it off. However, at that point I couldn’t get the light to go back on at all !!!! Good grief, I thought, now what. Guess, I’ll have to take it to the gas station one of these days and let them check it.

Meantime, this afternoon, when I finished grocery shopping I noticed, as I approached my car, that the rear door on the driver’s side was not tightly shut. Of course, I smiled with relief. That was the problem and all I had to do to correct the problem was shut the door.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

DENTIST BILL

2011-04-02T16:49:00.000-07:00

When I worked at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, I never had to pay for my dental checkups as my insurance covered it. But now that I’m retired, I must pay when I have my teeth cleaned. It’s not a big deal and I simply write a check at the front desk when I schedule my next appointment.

But last week, I forgot to pay because the hygienist scheduled my next appointment in her room as soon as she finished cleaning my teeth. Thus, I didn’t have to stop at the front desk. In addition, I had plans right after my dental appointment to meet some friends for lunch. And so paying my bill just slipped my mind as I walked out of the dental clinic.

They, however didn’t forget and today I received a bill. It’s too bad I didn’t pay at the time, as I remember getting a discount in the past for paying promptly. Oh well, I’m sure I won’t forget next time.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

CATHY’S CURVES’ FRIEND

2011-04-01T09:46:00.000-07:00

It sure is a small world. And so yesterday I shouldn’t have been surprised when my daughter, Cathy, told me one of the other ladies working out at Curves with her, asked if I was her Mom. Somehow they happened to mention their maiden names and when Cathy mentioned her maiden name, the woman said, “I know your Mom. She does volunteer computer tutoring at the Senior Center where I work part time. “Well,” I said to my daughter, “Look’s like I’ve got my 15 minutes of fame.”

And ironically enough a similar situation happened to me a couple of weeks ago. When my new neighbor moved in, she introduced me to her mother. The woman happened to mention she use to work at CUNA. I asked if she knew my daughter who also works at CUNA and she replied, “I think so. Does she make the delicious peanut brittle that is sold in Tomah, Wisconsin?” “That’s her,” I replied, “But she doesn’t make it, she buys it when she visits her mother-in-law in Tomah.” It sure is a small world and my daughter also “got her 15 minutes of fame.”

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

SURPRISE FROM NADYA

2011-03-31T16:38:00.001-07:00

About 40 years ago I sold real estate for a short time. But when I quit, I continued to keep my license in hopes that I could on occasion make money with it. In fact from 1996 until the “no-call list” went into effect, I called owners who were selling their homes, to recommend good realtors I knew, in order to earn a referral fee. It was a lucrative little endeavor as I made a few thousand dollars a year for just making some phone calls.

This winter I decided to try again. And so in January I began calling homes that were advertised as “For sale by owner”. However, lately since I am having no success I have been feeling very discouraged. And so, I am trying to come up with a new idea to change my luck, as I certainly won’t quit.

But hooray!!! Today I received a great surprise -- an email from Nadya a realtor I am working with. She just listed a condo I referred to her for $185,000. That means I could earn about $500. Not bad for sitting at my dining room table making some phone calls. Here’s hoping in this poor real estate market, the condo sells, as I won’t receive a check until it does.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

SURPRISE FROM NADYA

2011-03-31T16:38:00.000-07:00

About 40 years ago I sold real estate for a short time. But when I quit, I continued to keep my license in hopes that I could on occasion make money with it. In fact from 1996 until the “no-call list” went into effect, I called owners who were selling their homes, to recommend good realtors I knew in order to earn a referral fee. It was a lucrative little endeavor as I made a few thousand dollars a year for just making some phone calls.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

MY SPRINT BILL

2011-03-29T15:40:00.000-07:00

When I opened the letter I received from the Sprint Telephone Company this morning, I couldn’t believe my eyes. The letter showed I owed $102 for two past due bills and the current month. But I pay my bills as soon as they arrive and so the letter thoroughly surprised me. In the past I would put my bills in a drawer when they arrived and then a week or two later pay them all at one time. However, occasionally, I forgot about the bills and ended up paying them late and incurring an overdue charge.

But the letter from Sprint also warned me that they would terminate my service if I didn’t pay promptly. I certainly didn’t want to lose my service as I’ve had it for close to 10 years and still pay the low $35 I paid when I first purchased my Sprint phone. And so I looked in my checkbook and discovered that I had in deed not made a payment since Jan. 5^th. How could that have happened I wondered? The company must not have sent me a bill in February and March.

Thus, I immediately called to ask why they hadn’t sent me a bill. The representative didn’t know and suggested I call back in the beginning of Apr, if I did not receive my next bill. At that time they would follow-up and investigate the problem. Thus, I marked my calendar and then quickly called Sprint to make a payment over the phone to make sure I didn’t lose my service.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.c

LASER EYE TREATMENT

2011-03-28T09:58:00.000-07:00

In February, my eye doctor scheduled laser treatments to “tweak” my cataract surgery. At the first appointment, my doctor treated the right eye and everything went fine. But at the second appointment, the doctor asked if I would let her student perform the treatment. I felt uncomfortable, as I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. And so I came up with an idea.

I said to the doctor, “How about if you do half and he does half?” But I wish I hadn’t, because now my eye is worse than before the procedure. I have a follow-up appointment in a week and I sure hope the doctor can fix it.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

NEW PORTABLE PHONE

2011-03-27T12:24:00.000-07:00

My daughter stopped by yesterday with the two new portable phones I asked her to buy for me. In the last month, my portable phones, have died twice in the middle of a conversation and in the process caused all the other phones in my house to stop working. Thus, I knew I needed to replace them and yet, it hasn’t happened again for two weeks and so I thought, “Maybe the problem will go away.”

As a result, I said to my daughter, I better keep the sales slip, in case I decide to return them in a couple weeks if my phones seem trouble-free. But she suggested I keep them anyway, as eventually portable phones do need to be thrown away and I will need new ones. As I was concerned about the batteries wearing down, she said, “No problem. Don’t place them in the phone and charge them until you want to start using them and you’ll be fine.”

But then when she proceeded to open one of the boxes to show me, she discovered the box on the seal had been broken, the battery was already inserted in the phone, and it was obviously a used product. Wow…. I’m so glad she discovered this error. We immediately called the store where she purchased the phones and gladly heard we could exchange the used portable for a new one!!!!

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

THANK YOU NOTES

2011-03-26T15:24:00.000-07:00

Today when I collected the letters from my mailbox, I found two small envelopes with my daughter’s address on the backs. I couldn’t imagine why she had sent them to me. To my delight, each of my grandson’s had written a thank you note to me.

Recently I gave them each a good “chunk” of money to invest in their college funds. Two years ago, I inherited money from my Mom and it has been “sitting” in one of my investment accounts. When I received the money, I immediately decided to earmark the money for my grandchildren’s education. And so I haven’t spent any of it. But it occurred to me that, heaven forbid, if I land in a nursing home someday, my grandsons may get nothing. Since I own my house and have several IRA’s, I feel confident that I will have enough money for my future. And so I thought it would be wise for me to start giving the boys $13,000 a year, the amount the government allows as gifts without tax implications.

And in the meantime, my wonderful grandsons thoughtfully remembered to send me a thank you note. I am sooooooo proud of them. And my Mom, who loved her great grandsons dearly, would be so pleased to be contributing to their education.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

MY CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE GIFTS

2011-03-24T15:49:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday when I went to the bridge club, I took two batches of my chocolate chip cookies with me. I planned to drop off one batch at the gas station to show my appreciation to Jim, the owner, for unlocking my car doors a week earlier. I had locked myself out while pumping gas and Jim didn’t charge me a penny for opening the doors. But as I was driving, I decided to call the gas station first to find out when Jim would be in that day. “Oh, he doesn’t work on the weekends,” I was told. Oh well, I would just take the cookies home and put them into the freezer and try again later.

The other batch was for Mike, one of the men who played bridge weekly, at the local bridge club. After our game the previous week Mike had done me a favor. He had mentioned he was on his way to the library. So I asked if he would return my books at the same time. He did and I decided he also deserved some cookies. But when I got to the club, I learned Mike had gone out of town. I could hardly believe I struck out twice in one day.

But not to worry. I had extra cookies at home that I had planned on giving to Barb, a neighbor who helped me take in my groceries recently and another batch for Alisa a new neighbor who was moving into my 4-unit townhouse in another week. Thus, as I drove home Sat. afternoon, I decided I could easily drop off one batch to Barb, which I did. And lo and behold when I pulled up to my garage, I saw Alisa moving some items into her new condo and so I was able to give my second batch of chocolate chip cookies to her. “All was not lost!” I had successfully delivered two batches of cookies after all.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

THREE-LEGGED DOG

2011-03-23T12:45:00.000-07:00

For the past six months I have noticed a new man in my neighborhood walking his dog – a small sandy-haired canine. Because he started walking the dog during the winter months, I could only see the dog’s head and top of it’s body as the snow covered his legs. I watched mesmerized by the dog’s jerky gait.

But one day when the snow had melted and the man walked past with his pet, I finally saw the dog hobbled by on only three legs. It broke my heart. Although, I know it’s not unusual for owners to amputate an injured dog or cat's leg and the animals do just fine, it makes me terribly sad. And so today, when once again I saw the man and dog, a little pain tugged at my heart-strings.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

EMAIL ADDRESS SIMILARITY

2011-03-21T14:07:00.001-07:00

The ladies in my high school graduating class are planning a luncheon in April and I am in charge of sending out all the emails. Initially, I simply sent out an invitation, but so many women sent back, not only their response, but some “news” about themselves. Because I enjoyed reading their emails so much, I decided to forward the emails to the others.

Thus, in the last few weeks, my classmates have received quite a few messages from me. But today, I received a very interesting response. A guy in California, Mike, wrote, “Please remove me from your list. I graduated in 1983 in California . Thanks.” Wow … you can imagine how surprised I was! Although, I immediately noticed he shared the same last name as one of my classmates. And so, I called Natalie, told her what happened, and asked her, “What IS your email address?” Sure enough. Their addresses were identical except for one letter. Natalie’s email starts with the letter N followed by her last name, whereas Mike’s email is limited to just their same last name.

I immediately wrote back to Mike, explained the situation and told him I corrected the error. And what a nice guy he must be. Within a few minutes he wrote back, “Not a problem. I appreciate your timely response. Hope your reunion is enjoyable. Mike.”

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

FIRST PLACE AT BRIDE

2011-03-19T17:02:00.000-07:00

I could hardly believe it when the director announced the winners. My partner, John, and I had won. For years, when my Mom was alive we played duplicate bridge once or twice a week and often came in either first, second, or third. But over the past three years, I have not played as often and do not have a steady partner. And so, most of the time I come in last or near the bottom.

But today we won. Actually, I think luck played a big part. We only had to compete against four other pairs and many of the best players were out-of-town at a tournament in Louisville, KY. Nevertheless, it was fun to be the winners.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

T.D.S., MY TELEPHONE COMPANY

2011-03-18T15:36:00.000-07:00

Shortly after I woke up Tuesday morning. I called my insurance company. But after just a few minutes of conversation, the phone went dead. I went into another room to place the call again. However, when I picked up a different phone, all I heard was static. Of course, I quickly went downstairs and tried my other phones, unfortunately, they also emitted a static sound.

Thank goodness for cell phones. I called the phone company and they told me that a service repairman would fix my phone later that day. Then they asked if I had paid for a repair service plan. Since, I had not paid the $3.00 a month charge, it would cost me $60. Oh well, I have lived in my house for 31 years and never had any trouble before. Thus, I rationalized that I had actually saved money. The cost of $3 a month for 31 years would have totaled $108. So I got a deal after all.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

ST. PATRICK’S DAY PARTY

2011-03-17T18:47:00.000-07:00

Every year, the health club I belong to hosts a wonderful St. Patrick’s Day party at a great restaurant. The food -- corned beef, cabbage, carrots, potatoes, rolls, brownies and chocolate chip cookies -- is delicious and better yet, free to all the members. I have attended each year and have always enjoyed myself. Although, the first year I joined the club, I hadn’t planned on going as I assumed that most of the attendees would be young singles.

However, my Mom always loved corned beef and cabbage and so I decided to take her. Surprisingly enough when we sat down, my Mom at 85 was not even the oldest person at our table. There were several in their 90’s!! This year I attended with another member of the health club whom I met in the swimming pool when I first joined. We arrived at the party at 2:00 and after eating we continued chatting away. I checked my watch a couple times and about 4:00 I said it was probably time to get going.

But what a surprise I had when I got home. It was 6:00. How could it have gotten so late? I only live 3 blocks from the restaurant. But, I discovered it happened very easily. The last time I wore the watch that I put on today was ten days ago, before day-light savings time took effect. So all afternoon, I was looking at a watch that was an hour behind.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

WONDERFUL NEIGHBOR

2011-03-15T18:58:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, when I drove home from the grocery store, I had 14 bags of groceries in the trunk of my car. As I pulled into my garage, one of my neighbors happened to walk by. And when she saw me begin to unload my groceries she offered to help. I didn’t want to bother her and so I said, “Oh, thank you but that’s not necessary.” Nevertheless, she protested, “I would be glad to help.”

Since my garage is in the basement, I have to drag them upstairs to my kitchen on the first floor and she knows it is not easy for me. Because she so sincerely wanted to help me, I said yes and was really grateful that she did. This is not the first time she has offered her assistance and I feel so lucky to have such a wonderful neighbor.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

SHIRLEY SWEET

2011-03-14T10:05:00.000-07:00

I seldom attend Friday night services. In fact, I only go for Mom and Dad’s Yarhzeit and the High Holidays. But this year I went to Friday night services two weeks in a row. When I was at services for the Yarzheit service, the Rabbi announced that the following week he would be honoring my cousin, Shirley Sweet, for working in the Temple’s office for 50 years.

Well, of course I wanted to attend. In addition, there was a special dinner before hand that I knew I would enjoy. A friend agreed to go with me and so we went. When the Rabbi began reading the Torah portion during the service, I immediately recognized it as the same Torah portion read at my son’s Bar Mitzvah. What a coincidence that I had been at this very same service 30 year’s ago.

The Torah portion was about sacrifices and I remembered that Rick had been playing hockey that year and had to miss a hockey game the night he was Bar Mitzvhed – his example of a sacrifice .

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

EXCHANGING MY NEW CD PLAYER

2011-03-13T17:50:00.000-07:00

What a bummer. It’s such a hassle for me to get to Best Buy. And I’m frustrated because I was just there this past Tuesday. And now I have to go back again this week to exchange my new CD player.

When I bought my new machine I bought a smaller one with out a tape player. But I had one important question for the salesman. “Does it display the minutes for each track on the CD?” I asked. He replied that it did and so I bought it. Unfortunately, when I unpacked it and placed a CD inside the display on the outside only showed me which track I was listening too.

It made me furious. But what can I do. I only wish I had just bought the same kind of CD player that I had before

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

NEW CD PLAYER

2011-03-12T13:49:00.000-08:00

About ten years ago, I started listening to audio books recorded on tapes and CD’s. Because I live alone and am retired, I have lots of time to listen – when I’m getting dressed, cooking, cleaning, etc. It’s a wonderful pastime plus I never feel alone, as all day long I have someone “talking to me,” well at least telling me a story.

On the other side of the coin, my CD/tape player gets used so much – often four or five hours a day -- that my machines don’t last long. And sure enough, last week, I pushed the play button and it popped down into the machine. Luckily, every time I have purchased a new player, I have also paid about $10 for the store’s warranty program. And so, when I took my CD/tape player back to the store, I received a new machine for free. Not bad, even though I paid another $10 to make sure I once again obtain another free machine when my new one breaks.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

MY LOCKED CAR

2011-03-10T10:19:00.000-08:00

I can’t believe that I did it. I have pumped my own gas for over 30 years and never locked myself out of the car when I filled the car’s tank. But on Tuesday, I must have accidentally pushed down the lock button when I closed the car door. And so when I attempted to get back in, I discovered all the doors were locked.

Oh well….not to worry. I have Triple A Insurance and I would just go inside the gas station and call. Although, I did have the problem that my AAA car was in my purse and sitting on the front seat. Nevertheless, I entered the gas station and described my plight. “No problem,” the attendant said, “we have equipment to unlock the door.” Although it took a little longer than they expected, they released the lock on my car and I was on my way. But before I drove off, I told them, “I owe you big time and next week, I will come back with a batch of my chocolate chip cookies for you!” My grandsons say that I make the best chocolate chip cookies of all. Then again, what grandchild doesn’t think his/her grandmother makes the best chocolate chip cookies.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

CATHY’S VIDEO

2011-03-09T10:28:00.000-08:00

Recently my daughter, Cathy, posted an extremely funny video on her Facebook page. Along with it, she wrote, “I laughed so hard, I cried.” And though I didn’t cry, I too belted out a big laugh. In fact, a couple days later when I tried telling a friend about it, I could barely finish, as I burst out laughing just as I began delivering the punch line. The video is titled, “You Better Know How to Spell” and began with a man calling 911, yelling desperately, “Please send an ambulance immediately. My wife is badly hurt.”

“What is the address?” the dispatcher replies. “I live at 837 Eucalyptus,” says the man. “How do you spell that?” asks the dispatcher. After a lengthy pause, the husband says, “I’ll drag her to Elm Street !”

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

MY NEIGHBOR EILEEN

2010-12-18T18:10:00.001-08:00

She has never sent me a Christmas card and so it should have surprised me to find one in my mailbox this year. However, my neighbor Eileen must have felt guilty and knew that she owned me an apology. Last week when we had six inches of snow, she called me to complain that the Bruce Company had done a terrible job of plowing her driveway and she insisted that they come back and plow her driveway again.

As President of our condominium association I expect calls like this and earlier that same day I received a request to contact the plowers to return and salt our slippery roadway which I immediately did. But Eileen’s call puzzled me as the roadway and driveways all looked plowed to me when I looked out my window. However, as I couldn’t see Eileen’s drive directly I called another neighbor who lives next to Eileen and learned that the drive had in fact been plowed but the wind had created some drifts.

Thus, I called the plowing company and then called Eileen back as I had promised to do. But when her husband, Takis, answered he started shouting at me that the company had done a terrible job and he was not going to pay his share. At the same time, I heard Eileen voice in the background saying, “Takis, I just took a look at it and it’s not that bad. I can take care of it as there really isn’t that much.” Obviously, when she called me earlier, she herself had not looked at the driveway and simply accepted her husbands rant about their supposedly snow-packed driveway.

Well, I was perturbed and politely said so before ending the call. Obviously, she got the message, because the next day she sent an email explaining the “confusion”, as she called it, and a few days later sent the Christmas card I received.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

MY ANNIVERSARY

2010-12-17T16:14:00.000-08:00

You would think that after 41 years as a divorcee, I would have forgotten the date of my wedding anniversary. But no, every Dec 17^th, when I see the date on my calendar it reminds me that my ex-husband and I said our wedding vows on this day. We were college students and married during the Christmas vacation before we both graduated in January, 1962.

Our marriage lasted only seven years, before he met another woman whom he wanted to marry. I had always thought my marriage would last forever and so when we separated and divorced it disappointed me that I would never celebrate a 25^th or 50^th wedding anniversary. I also never expected that I would in fact have a 25^th anniversary of being divorced and in only a few more years, a 50^th anniversary of being divorced. Although I never remarried, as I assumed I would, I’m actually glad. I have enjoyed the last four decades and have no regrets.

And so today, Dec. 17^th, I once again remembered my wedding anniversary. Although, I think I can say without doubt that my ex-husband hasn’t the slightest memory that we were married 41 years ago on this date.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

INQUIRY FROM ITALY

2010-12-16T16:14:00.000-08:00

When I began operating my website, I had expectations of receiving lots of interesting photos, working on the site a few hours a week and making lots of money. But I was wrong. Although I do receive great photos, I work on the site many more hours than I had anticipated and instead of making money I have lost money. Nevertheless, the site has brought me many hours of pleasure and some very fascinating experiences.

Although the Internet connects the entire world, it didn’t occur to me that my site would reach contestants in foreign countries. But indeed people have sent me photos from S. Africa, Japan, England, the Philippines, Russia, Ireland, etc. And yesterday when I opened my email, someone from Italy wrote to ask if he/she could enter the contest. What a delight. Here I am a little, old grandma sitting in my dining room, operating a website from my laptop computer, and people from as far away as Italy have found my site and want to participate in my contest. What will they think of next?

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

ICY SIDEWALK

2010-12-15T14:09:00.000-08:00

When I awoke on Monday morning, I knew I would have to throw salt on my front sidewalk. A huge blizzard on Sunday dropped six inches of snow on the ground. Thus, I needed to make sure my guests on Monday afternoon wouldn’t fall on a slippery sidewalk. However, I have trouble with my balance and so I did not look forward to the task at hand.

Nevertheless, I grabbed the salt from my closet and bundled up in my warm jacket. I opened my front door and stepped gingerly onto the sidewalk. I took baby steps and moved forward slowly fearing each step I took. At the same time I kept wishing that someone might come along and offer to help. But there was no one in sight. Still… you know what they say, “Be careful what you wish for.”

Within a couple of minutes a truck pulled up to my curb and a nice looking, young man hopped out and asked if he could help me. I couldn’t believe my eyes and a huge smile spread over my face. I said to him, “Thank you sooooo much. And when you are finished, please knock on my door. I have some homemade chocolate cookies for you.” I greatly appreciated this young man’s kindness and I hope he enjoyed my treat.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

MY CHANUKAH MIRACLE

2010-12-12T16:35:00.000-08:00

I look forward to Chanuka every year – giving gifts to the grandchildren, having dinner with the family, and eating lots and lots of latkes. But I don’t look forward to making the potato pancakes! Each year I try, in vain, to make perfect pancakes or at least better ones than the year before. But it’s a struggle.

My Mother, G-d rest her soul, made great latkes. However, she cooked them while we ate dinner, jumping up from the table every few minutes to turn over the potato pancakes or to bring us a fresh, hot batch. I, on the other hand, wanted to sit with my family during dinner. This meant I had to fry my latkes before my guests arrived. Unfortunately, well you know how the saying goes, “The best-laid plans of mice and men……”

The first time, I made potato pancakes, I decided to fry them early in the afternoon, place them on paper towels to absorb the oil, and then put them in the oven at a low temperature to keep them warm until dinner. It seemed like a good idea, but when I pulled them out of the oven I looked with dismay at my pitiful latkes. They had turned black! The following year, after I finished frying the latkes, I put them in the refrigerator instead. I was delighted that upon reheating them, they didn’t turn black. But, I hadn’t turned the oven temperature high enough and we ate luke-warm potato pancakes.

Another year I decided to simply buy my latkes from the Pancake House. It certainly was a lot less work, the house didn’t reek of oil, and they tasted good. But, still, they weren’t as tasty as my Mother’s recipe. And then a friend told me that when she lived in Chicago, she bought potato pancakes at a Polish market. The pancakes were packed on their sides, in an upright position, in a bread pan. And the instructions were to reheat them at 425 degrees for 10 minutes. Great I thought I could do that and lo and behold I finally made a decent batch of latkes for my family. Though, bless their hearts they always said, “Oh Mom, they’re fine.”

Thus, this year I was prepared to enjoy a “stress-free” Chanukah. I even bought Yukon Gold potatoes so that I didn’t have to peel them. But when I took the oil out of my cupboard, I was irritated to discover that I only had a small amount of oil left in the jar. I quickly drove to the nearby PDQ to buy more and began again as soon as I returned home. I grated the potatoes, squeezed out all the excess water (the trick for really good latkes), heated the pan, and started frying the latkes.

When I finally finished making the potato pancakes, washing the dishes, and cleaning the kitchen, I breathed a sigh of a relief. But as I replaced the cover on my bottle of oil, a huge smile broke over my face. A small amount of oil remained in the bottom. I had thought I wouldn’t have enough oil, but what a coincidence…..I did.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

“THE TOWN”

2010-12-10T18:55:00.000-08:00

I don’t see many movies these days, though I do enjoy them and use to go to the movies often. But today a friend and I had lunch together and saw the film, “The Town.” The movie about bank robbers and starring Ben Affleck was very good and when I told my daughter about it, she said she also saw it and enjoyed it too.

Earlier this week when I made plans to go to the movies, my friend and I couldn’t decide whether to see “The Town” or “Wall Street.” But when we got to the theater, we discovered “Wall Street” was no longer playing. So much for our dilemma. The choice was made for us and luckily it was a good one.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

UNITY HEALTH INSURANCE

2010-12-08T14:18:00.000-08:00

My health insurance company pays me $100 every six months, if I workout at my health club 10 times a month or a total of 60 times in six months. Since I pay $600 a year to belong to the club, I make very sure I exercise enough to collect $200 a year. Well, today I called my insurance company to ask when I would receive my latest check. “I’m sorry,” the representative replied, “You only worked out 59 times during the last six months.” “What,” I exclaimed! I was shocked. I keep track on my calendar of every time I workout at the health club and my records showed 60 times. She looked through her records and found only 9 visits for me in June.

So I contacted my health club and explained my predicament. I read each date I had been at the health club in June to the accountant I spoke with. And luckily he was very cooperative and said they would send the “missed” date to my insurance company so that I could in fact receive my $100 check. Thank goodness.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

MY TELEPHONE BUTTONS

2010-12-07T19:03:00.000-08:00

This morning, I wanted to call Viactiv, the company that manufactures the chewable calcium tablets I take daily. I checked the label to find a telephone number and found their 800 number. I was glad that I could easily call them, however, the number was 888-VIACTIV. I much prefer numbers to words / letters as I can easily push the buttons on my phone with nothing more than a quick glance.

And so as I dialed the number I had to look very carefully at each button on the phone to find the letters V, I, etc. However, I had trouble finding the “T”, because the letters T-U-V on the 8 button were worn away and hard to read. How weird I thought and wondered why that button had faded. And then it dawned on me. My daughter’s telephone number is 850-5508. I dial her number often, pressing the 8-key twice, to talk to her and my two grandsons. Thus, the constant tapping on that key has wiped away the letters. Too bad, I hadn’t programmed her telephone number on my phone. But then again, I don’t know how.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

CALCIUM PHOSPHATE

2010-12-06T14:05:00.000-08:00

When I call a company to ask a question about their product, I expect that they will answer my question. And so when I called Viactiv the company that manufactures the chewable vitamin calcium supplement I take everyday, I couldn’t believe that the person I spoke with had no reply. I asked if the tablet contained calcium citrate, carbonate, or phosphate. Since she didn’t know, she put me on hold to ask her supervisor. But she reported back to me that her supervisor didn’t know the answer either. In addition, she did not provide any alternative for finding the answer.

Well, that was just not acceptable. I needed to know what kind of calcium I was taking and certainly they had a responsibility to inform me. . Thus I said, “Someone must know, perhaps the manufacuter, and so please tell me who I can call for further information.” Finally, she took my name and telephone number and told me someone would get back to me. Luckily, she gave me a confirmation number and you can be sure, I will pursue this matter.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

COOKING OIL

2010-12-05T18:35:00.000-08:00

Ever since I moved into my first apartment, I have always kept a grocery list in my top kitchen drawer. Whenever, an item in my kitchen became half empty, I added it to my grocery list so that I could buy a replacement immediately and thus, never run out. This has served me well over the years and I have rarely been left short of an ingredient that I needed.

However, today when I began to start cooking my Chanukah latkes (potato pancakes) to serve at dinner to my family, I discovered, I had very little oil left in the bottle on my shelf. Of course that meant I had to quickly run out to the store to buy more. Luckily the PDQ store is only a few blocks away and it only took about 15 minutes. As it turned out, the oil I had on hand was sufficient and I didn’t open the new bottle. Nevertheless, I had to buy the extra oil as I didn’t dare take a chance of running out in the middle of frying all those delicious latkes.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

FIRST SNOW

2010-12-04T14:00:00.001-08:00

Today is Dec. 4th and we had our first snow of the season last night. The date of the first snow is always a surprise. Some years it occurs as early as October and others as late as January. Either way I don’t mind. Although many people hate winter, it doesn’t bother me.

Years ago, my Father-in-law shared his word s of wisdom, “Winter is only 2 months long.” He explained that the worst of winter – the most snow and the severest cold – lasts from Dec. 15th to Feb. 15th. And he was absolutely right. Although we occasionally experience pretty cold temperatures and some deep snow falls in March and sometimes April, after Feb 15th the storms and low temperatures are fewer and far between, the days grow longer, and spring is not far behind.

And so when winter arrives, I take it in stride. In fact, for me the worst starts Jan. 2nd rather than Dec. 15th, because the two weeks before New Year’s Eve are so busy with holiday festivities the time flies by quickly. And best of all Dec. 21st is my favorite day of the year … it’s the winter solstice and the days start getting longer.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

REAL ESTATE LICENSE

2010-12-03T17:10:00.000-08:00

In the mid 70’s, I studied for the real estate exam, received my license, and sold real estate for 3 years. But even after I changed careers, I continued to pay the yearly license fee and attend the required education courses to maintain my licenses. At the same time, I remember a cousin, who gave up his license, asking why I wasted my time and money on a license I may never again use. Although I knew he was probably right, I kept it anyway because I had worked hard to get it and who knew if maybe someday I might just wish I had it.

Sure enough, I’m glad I kept it. In the late 90’s when I attended a mandatory class, the instructor, a real estate broker, told everyone in the class, that since we all had licenses, he could pay us a referral fee of 20% if we recommend people to him who had houses to sell. A short time later a high school friend who moved away, happened to call and ask me the name of a good realtor to sell her Mother’s home. Of course, I recommended the instructor / broker and when the house was sold, I received a check for $760. Not bad earnings for a single phone call!!!!

Now almost 40 years later, my license is paying off. I recently started calling local homeowners who have advertised their houses for sale on Craigslist. My intent is to convince them to list their home with a real estate agent I recommend so that I can collect the referral fee. Although, most people will say no, all it takes is one person and lo and behold, last night a nice guy was the first one to say, “YES.”

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

BURSITIS

2010-12-02T14:13:00.000-08:00

When my cousin visited me last month, I happened to mention that I was having a pain in my side. He then mentioned that his wife also had the same problem and the doctor told her she had bursitis. Hmmmm, I thought maybe I too had bursitis. I decided to search google for exercises that would remove the pain. Sure enough, I found a good one that did indeed make the pain go away.

I continued the exercise for a week or two and when I felt better I stopped. However, when the pain came back yesterday, I had to resume the exercise. But I also decided that when I do my morning exercises, I better include on a daily basis the one for bursitis.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

BROKEN RIB

2010-12-01T15:36:00.000-08:00

On Monday I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. But while I was sitting on the toilet, a hair clip fell out of my hair and when I bent to pick it up, I lost my balance because I was half asleep. The next thing I knew I hit my side on the edge of the bathtub. What a bummer. But I simply got back in bed and fell back to sleep.

However, the next morning, my side really hurt. Oh dear I thought, I must have cracked a rib. Of course there is little to do about a broken rib, but wait a few weeks for it to heal. In the meantime, I wrapped an ace bandage around me and took some Ibuprofen to help ease the pain a bit. Of course, I had to change my plans for the day. I certainly could not swim at the health club!!!

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

BACK-UP DISAPPOINTMENT

2010-11-30T12:26:00.001-08:00

Recently, I decided to once again re-start my real estate referral business. I call owners who are selling their own homes and offer them a free market analysis. My hope is that eventually, if they don’t sell on their own they will list their house with a real estate agent I recommend so that I can collect a referral fee of $500 to $2,000.

Last night I called a number of owners who had posted their homes on a local website. Several of the phone numbers had been disconnected and so I deleted the property from my Excel list of properties. Unfortunately, when I went to bed I realized that I made a terrible mistake. I had neglected to make a back-up copy of the original list. Thus, I will end up wasting my time calling those disconnected numbers again, since I could not check to see that I had already called them. Darn…darn…darn.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

CYBER-MONDAY

2010-11-29T12:55:00.000-08:00

When I woke up this morning, the newscaster on the radio talked several times about Cyber Monday, a day on which a huge number of people would do their Christmas shopping online. I smiled and thought to myself, that I could avoid Cyber Monday just as I had avoided Black Friday since I always give my family checks when we celebrate Chanukah. But lo and behold I found myself joining the throngs of others who turned on their computers today to do their shopping online.

I had planned on going to the grocery store today, but got too busy. And so I had no choice but to buy my groceries online as I have done on several other occasions in the past. But as I clicked away to purchase my groceries, I couldn’t help but smile. I never would have guessed this morning when I awoke that I would be a Cyber Monday shopper.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

MARGE JACOBY

2010-11-28T14:48:00.000-08:00

Recently a friend invited me to play bridge with her monthly bridge group. When I arrived one of the other woman said to me, “You look so familiar, I wonder if we know each other”. Of course we then tried remembering how we might have met before. However, we had no luck.

But later that evening she rushed over to me and asked if I had worked at the Univ. of Wisconsin in Madison 20 years ago in the Ed Science Building? “Why yes,” I replied. “That’s it,” she said. She also worked there at that time and thus remembered. What a memory she has, I thought. However, even with that knowledge I still didn’t recognize her as I had absolutely no memory of her. But to be polite, I agreed, “Why yes, of course.”

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

TURKEYLESS THANKSGIVING

2010-11-27T17:22:00.000-08:00

On Thanksgiving, I served salmon to my three guests as they do not eat meat. Nevertheless, we all had a good time and enjoyed the evening. Yet after they left and I finished cleaning the kitchen, I must admit I felt a bit sad. My son and daughter spent the holiday with their in-laws, both my parents are deceased, and my sister and I are not close. And so my Thanksgiving celebration, as nice as it was, did not include either my family close-by or turkey on the dinner table.

I wish I knew why I felt sad this year, as it didn’t bother me last Thanksgiving when I also served fish to these same three friends. Perhaps the rift between my sister and me that intensified this summer weighs heavily upon my heart. I just don’t know. But, at least I can look forward to next week. Wednesday night is the first night of Chanukah and I always invite my children and their families to a holiday dinner of latkes (potato pancakes). And this Chanukah I have decided I will also serve TURKEY !!!!

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

CRAIGSLIST

2010-11-25T10:41:00.000-08:00

I just don’t get it. When I started my website in 2006, I frequently posted advertisements for my site on Craigslist and people responded to it. But lately, no one is clicking on my postings. And because I can’t call anyone at Craigslist to find out what’s the problem, I have to figure it out myself. And what a frustrating and difficult task that is.

So this morning, I put my mind to solving the problem. After a number of attempts I finally discovered that I had foolishly deleted the CRITICAL email Craigslist sent to me immediately after I posted an entry. The email informed me to open the link in the email and click on publish. Well what do you know? The solution was that simple. So I followed the instructions …. But when I went to look at the post I published, it was NOT there. So I’m back to square one !@#$%^&*()<….

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

SALMON FOR THANKSGIVING

2010-11-24T16:52:00.000-08:00

Last year was the first Thanksgiving that I was without any of my family. My Mom had died earlier in the year, my Dad had died in 1996, my sister had moved to Nevada and both my children would be out of town with their in-laws. But I have lots of good friends and invited a few to my house for Thanksgiving.

Nevertheless, I thought I would feel sad at my first thanksgiving without my Mom. But luckily, my friends are religious and can only eat meat that is Kosher. So, I cooked salmon instead. And though I missed eating turkey to my pleasant surprise serving fish was perfect. Without turkey, it really didn’t seem like thanksgiving. And so I was able to enjoy myself after all.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

CRANBERRY JELLO MOLD RECIPE

2010-11-23T15:23:00.000-08:00

Yesterday my sister sent me an email from Las Vegas asking if I had Mom’s cranberry jello mold recipe. Although, I always loved that jello mold, I had never made a copy of it and when my Mom moved to Las Vegas a year before she died, many of her recipes got lost. But luckily I thought of calling my cousin. As sisters, my Mom and his Mom shared a lot of their recipes and I remember that when my Aunt died, my cousin threw away very few of her possessions and kept almost everything.

So when I asked my cousin’s wife if she would check my Aunt’s recipe for the cranberry jello mold, she said, “No problem. All the recipes were perfectly organized and easy to access.” Well, to my delight the next day JoAnne sent me the recipe and now my sister and I can enjoy eating the cranberry jello mold for Thanksgiving.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

TEA POT

2010-11-22T10:53:00.000-08:00

Recently a friend told me that I could remove the lime build-up in the bottom of my teapot by boiling a mixture of vinegar and water in the pot. And so I tried it, but had to repeat the process several times, since in all the years I owned my pot I had never cleaned away the lime. Even then a residue of lime remained in the teapot, but I could once again actually see the original bottom.

I plan to boil more vinegar and water to get rid of all the lime. In the meantime, I so enjoy my clean teapot that every time I pass my stove, I lift the cover and look inside.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

HP PRINTER

2010-11-21T10:00:00.000-08:00

Recently when I tried installing my HP printer software on my new Windows 7 computer, I received an error message that it was incompatible. So I called HP. The technician told me he could help me install the updated version, but would charge me $39. That made me angry, but what could I do. However, when I typed my credit card number on their form, something was wrong and my number was rejected. The technician asked me to try several more times. But the same problem kept reappearing. As I had recently used my credit card to buy something on Ebay, I knew the problem existed with HP.

Finally, I complained that the problem with HP was wasting my time and HP should compensate me. And guess what ….. The technician agreed to install my printer WITHOUT charging me.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

DR. BRUSKEWITZ

2010-10-26T17:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday when I walked into the health club, I saw a man whom I recognized although I couldn’t think of his name and couldn’t remember how I knew him. And so I said to him, “I wonder if we know each other as you look familiar to me.” Then I told him my name and he told me his name, Reginald Bruskewitz. “Oh,” I replied, “Dr. Bruskewitz from the Urology Department at the University Hospital.” “Yes,” he answered.

That was it. About 25-30 years ago, I had an appointment with him. And so we continued to chat a bit longer. But all the time, I kept thinking to myself, “This man has seen me naked !!”

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

LIBRARY ASSISTANCE

2010-10-21T13:30:00.000-07:00

Whenever I’m out and about, someone always offers to help me. They see I have difficulty walking and ask if I would like some assistance and I almost always say yes, thank you and I greatly appreciate their kindness. Today when I alighted from my car a woman approached me. About a week ago she also helped me into the library and so we immediately recognized each other. But it is ironic that we would run into each other again so soon.

I normally stop at the library every Sat. afternoon after playing duplicate bridge at the bridge club and that is when I last saw her. But today I went to the library on a Thursday and for each of us to be at the library on this day and exactly at the same time is pretty amazing. This time we chatted a bit and exchanged our names as no doubt we will see each other again.

Although I wish I didn’t have trouble walking and wish I could walk normally and easily, just think of all the nice people I would never meet.

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I LOVE MY WEBSITE

2010-10-18T20:05:00.000-07:00

I must say I love working on my website. It hasn’t lived up to my expectation of making a lot of money, but actually that’s OK. I assumed that because so many other people have made huge amounts of money with their sites, I would too. However, I have not made a fortune. As a matter of fact, I have lost money. Nevertheless, I won’t complain because my site www.FunnyPhotosContest.com brings me so much pleasure and is a great pastime. Plus, it’s my hobby and I probably spend a lot less on my hobby than golfers or hunters spend on theirs.

Every day contestants send me funny / humorous photos or cute / adorable photos and very clever captions. And so I start my day with some good laughs when I read my email. What could be better? For example, today when I received a caption for a photo of a baby sitting in an infant seat and peering intently at a black cat, I laughed out loud at the caption that read, “Great, I’m a newborn and I’m already doomed for bad luck.”

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

GETTING OLD

2010-10-16T19:17:00.000-07:00

There’s a lot I enjoy about growing older. I like my retirement and the ability to do whatever I want, whenever I want. I like sleeping as late as I want to and staying up late to play games on my computer. But yesterday when the restore disks for my new computer arrived, I couldn’t believe how frustrated I became at completing the simple task of removing the disks from it’s packaging.

I cut open the packing envelope and took out the disks. Inside the envelope, they were stored in a rectangular plastic case similar to the VCR cases I use to pick up at the video store. Yet when I tried to pry it open, I couldn’t get it to budge. No matter what I did or what I used – screw driver, scissors, etc. – the disks remained secure in the box, while I became angrier and angrier. I knew my grandchildren would have no trouble opening the box, while I didn’t have a clue as to where I should even begin. Yet, I was sure if I were younger I could figure it out as easily as any young person.

And so I went to bed with the disks still in their case. I will have to wait until I see one of my grandchildren and have them show me how to open the “stupid” case. But, nevertheless, I am left with the question, “What is it about getting older that makes it impossible to deal with simple things that kids can take in their stride?”

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

LUNCH

2010-10-13T16:29:00.000-07:00

The other day a friend of mine, Lynn, treated another friend and me to lunch. We hadn’t seen each other for awhile and had a great time. But when we walked out and Lynn went to pay, she discovered the restaurant did not accept any credit cards. Unfortunately, Lynn didn’t have enough cash to pay the bill. She felt awful, but I quickly gave Lynn $20 and thought nothing of it.

Years ago, someone told me when you lend money to a friend or relative, consider it a gift as you may never get it back. But the very next day she called to ask if I would be home. I said yes and she stopped by and returned my $20.

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VANGUARD PASSWORD

2010-10-12T13:24:00.001-07:00

When I received an email from Vanguard, my investment company, it surprised me to learn they had shut down parts of my account on their website because someone had tried several times to unsuccessfully guess my security question. The message also told me to setup new security questions to once again access all of my account.

I couldn’t image who might try to view my investments. Certainly it wasn’t one of my relatives as they could have easily answered the questions that ask, “What was your Mother’s maiden name?” or “What was the name of the first school you attended?” When I called Vanguard to ask what had transpired, they responded it probably was someone with a similar name who mistyped their own. That seemed plausible and so I proceeded to change my questions.

I picked three new questions and then made up a word to use for all three that, of course, no one could ever guess. But to my surprise a few days later I again received an email that someone had tried several times to unsuccessfully guess my security questions. Once again, I reset my security questions only to receive a third email with the same message. You can imagine the frustration and impatience I felt when I called Vanguard to complain. Luckily, they resolved the matter quickly and I can access my account. The only other thing that would make me happier is for the account to vastly increase to a very large sum of money.

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GOOD POPCORN

2010-10-10T11:24:00.000-07:00

When my 25 year-old automatic popcorn popper broke I had to buy a new one. But I was terribly disappointed in the new one I bought. It had a rotating lever that constantly twirled the popcorn around. Unfortunately the lever created a spinning action that broke off lots of thin pieces of husk from the corn, making a messy bowl of popcorn. In addition, they changed the recipe and reduced the amount of oil so that the popcorn didn’t taste as good. And on top of all that the price had increased to $40. I was very unhappy.

However, after popping several more batches of popcorn and making some changes, I am pleased to finally have some good popcorn again. I removed the rotating lever and started using more oil…..and voila I’m a happy camper again, eating more popcorn than I should.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

ORCHIDS AND ICE CUBES

2010-10-09T15:44:00.000-07:00

Last Monday evening my neighbors Erika and Ingolf gave me a lovely orchid plant to thank me for the work I’ve done as President of our Condominium Association and to convince me to run for office again. Of course, I appreciated their gift and was very flattered by their support.

Since no one has ever before given me an orchid, I read the instructions carefully to make sure I took proper care of the plant. I do not have a “green thumb” as the saying goes and over the years I have killed more than my fair share of plants because I either over or under watered them. But I have high hopes that this beautiful orchid plant will last a long time. And the reason why is that the watering directions are very precise and easy to follow. But I must admit I was completely shocked when I read, “water with three ice cubes once a week.”

Well here’s hoping. Tomorrow I will place the three required ice cubes on my plant, for the first time. And then I’ll just have to wait and see what happens.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

MUSCLE RELAXANT

2010-10-07T15:52:00.000-07:00

Last week when once again I had some pain from sciatica, my doctor prescribed Flexoral, a muscle relaxant, for me. In the past when I took it along with Ibuprofen, my sciatica pain went away. However, this time my doctor prescribed a dosage of three times a day rather than the normal twice a day and unfortunately I had a strong reaction to the medication. Even three days after I stopped taking it I still felt week and dizzy and spacey.

I called my doctor and she found a different muscle relaxant that was less potent and ordered it for me. But when I stopped at the pharmacy to pick it up, I learned my insurance company didn’t cover it and it would cost me $75. “No thank you,” I said. I had used a hot pad earlier during the day that helped somewhat and I decided I would keep using the hot pad instead.

Today, to my surprise, the nurse called me and told me she had contacted my insurance company and discovered another drug, similar to the $75 drug, that the company covered for a much lower cost. And she asked if I would like it. “Great,” I said and I sincerely thanked her for going above and beyond the call of duty to help me.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

LIGHT BULB

2010-10-06T12:44:00.000-07:00

I couldn’t believe it this morning when I flipped on the light switch in the bathroom and it remained dark. Since I had the light bulb changed just a few months ago, it surprised me that the bulb burned out so quickly. Perhaps, the light fixture contained a 75-watt bulb rather than one of the halogen bulbs that I started using several years ago. Those, of course, last a very long time.

Nevertheless, the bulb has to be changed and unfortunately because I’m elderly and have trouble with my balance, I can’t change it. Luckily, my next-door neighbor and her daughter are very kind and don’t mind helping me. Thus, when they arrive home from school and work this afternoon I’ll call them. And since I don’t want to take advantage of my neighbors, I have some cookies in the freezer that I’ll give them.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

INGOLF AND ERIKA

2010-10-05T19:41:00.000-07:00

I have been president of my condo association for the past eight years. However, uncooperative neighbors with petty problems during this past years have made my job very frustrating. Thus, I have mentioned to a couple owners that I plan to resign.
But upon arriving home this evening you can imagine my complete surprise when I found a beautiful orchid plant on my front porch. One of the owners in my condo association left it for me with a beautiful note. "Thank you Hannah. Erika and I wanted to express a special thank you for your long diligent, diplomatic, devotion to our Associations leadeship affairs. Please reconsider your "stepping down decision. Sincerely, Erika and Ingolf."
Wow...what a nice compliment. And so now I have to think twice. I've enjoyed being President and as I'm retired it has not been difficult. And so maybe, if no one else volunteers, I might consider continuing.

By Hannah, FunnyPhotosContest.com

COMPUTER HELP

2010-10-04T10:26:00.000-07:00

When children are small, they need their mother’s help in many ways. As they grow, however, and become more independent, they turn to their mothers less and less. But the other day, my daughter with teenage children of her own called to ask for my help. It felt so good to once again be needed.

Her son had done something on her computer that made it freeze and thus she could not get the computer to do anything. Since I worked at the computing center at the Univ. of Wis-Madison before I retired, I can often solve computer problems, although not always. But this time I could. I told her to turn off the computer and then keep taping the F8 key when she turned it back on. This procedure would start her computer in safe mode so that she could set a restore point.

Before we hung up, I told her to call me back if it didn’t work. But she didn’t call and I felt so good that once again I could help my “little girl.”

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

WICKED

2010-10-03T17:01:00.001-07:00

What a great production and I highly recommend ‘Wicked’ to anyone who likes Broadway shows. I took my daughter’s family to see it today and we all enjoyed it immensely. The tickets were expensive, but I decided it would be a wonderful way to celebrate my 70th birthday and so I treated the whole family. The costumes were great, the dialog was clever, the plot was amusing, and the actors/actresses had great voices.

What amazed me was that during the performance my daughter correctly anticipated a couple outcomes. When a small cage with a “fake” baby lion appeared on stage my daughter said, “I’ll bet that will be the lion who didn’t have any courage.” And she was right.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

WISCONSIN STATUE – CONDOMINIUMS

2010-10-02T19:43:00.001-07:00

I have been the President of my Condo Association for the past eight years and have enjoyed the experience. There are only 19 owners and there have been very few significant problems. However, since the beginning of this year I have encountered several frustrating problems. And unfortunately our By-Laws do not provide any means to enforce the laws and thus we must depend on the owners cooperation.

But last week the newest problem that surfaced became the straw that finally “broke my back.” One of the owners posted a couple political signs in her yard and another owner who does not share her political views complained to me that our By-Laws do not allow signs without prior permission from the Association. To my chagrin, when I contacted the woman about removing her signs, she became belligerent and refused to remove the signs. “Now what,” I thought, “how am I going to solve this problem?”

And so out of sheer exasperation, I decided I had had enough and sent an email to my Board members stating I would not take any further action on this latest issue, but instead would retire at our annual meeting in February. Since it is highly possible that no one else wants to be President, I called a management company to find out about their services and their cost to run our Association. Lo and be hold, during our conversation I mentioned the cause of my retirement and the woman I spoke to said, “Oh the state statues have been changed and condominium associations can not prevent people from erecting political signs and exercising their freedom of speech.” What a pleasant surprise. The problem was solved and there would be no hard feelings or objections. The only thing that could be better then the resolution of this matter is for the members to elect a new president.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

APPLES

2010-10-01T16:12:00.000-07:00

For the last several years I have occasionally ordered groceries from a local store that delivers the groceries to me. They charge a $12 delivery fee, but it’s a great service and so convenient when I don’t have time to go to the store.

I simply open their website, click on the groceries I need, and the next day they are delivered. But yesterday when I unpacked my groceries, I was shocked to find two bags of apples. I thought I had ordered only two apples, but I received 24. Oh well, mistakes happen and I simply gave one bag to one of my neighbors.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

SMALL WORLD – RICK’S CO-WORKER

2010-09-30T16:36:00.000-07:00

When I listen to the news every morning on a local radio station, I always feel a little connected to one of the announcers. He was born and raised in Sheboygan, Wisconsin and when I lived there I knew some of his relatives. But now the “connection” has widened.

Recently, my son told me, that after working together for a year, he and Marc, a co-worker discovered they were both born in Sheboygan. Not only that but Marc’s Dad was my son’s pediatrician and Marc’s friend is the announcer I listen to every day. The reason they didn’t recognize each other was that we had moved away when my son was only two. What a small world.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

BACK ACHE

2010-09-29T16:20:00.000-07:00

Lately, my back has been bothering me a lot. Actually the pain is partly on my back and partly on my right side about an inch or two below my waste. I’ve tried some exercises and Tylenol, but neither seems to help. But yesterday it occurred to me that it might be a flare up of my sciatic. I could go see the doctor, but that is such a hassle, so I simply called and asked to have a prescription for a few days of a muscle relaxant.

Luckily she agreed and I began taking the medication last evening along with some Ibuprofen. It’s been less than 24 hours and I know better, but I’m frustrated that it still hurts. On the other hand, I have been sitting in one position working steadily away on my computer for the last few hours. So is it any wonder that the pain is probably my own fault for not getting up even to stretch every 30 minutes or so.

Oh well. I’ll turn off my computer as soon as I finish this task. Then I’ll go to the health club to walk around the track which should help. And hopefully, I’ll have more discipline tomorrow and try not sit so much.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

SEPTEMBER 28TH

2010-09-28T17:36:00.000-07:00

Today is September 28th and it’s my “house anniversary”. I can hardly believe that I’ve lived in my condominium for 31 years. I moved in when my children were 13 and 11 years old in 1979. Now they are grown and married and living in houses of their own.

Recently when my son visited, he asked, “Why don’t you move Mom? You don’t need all this space” Actually, although I have three bedrooms, my condo is only 1200 square feet, and really not that large. But my mortgage is paid off and I’m very comfortable. Plus the thought of cleaning out and packing up is more than I want to even think about.

So I will plan to stay in my house for the rest of my life and celebrate more “house anniversaries.”

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

NEW POP CORN POPPER

2010-09-26T17:29:00.000-07:00

Many folks will tell you, “They don’t make things the way the use to.” And I would have to agree with them. After my 20-year-old reliable automatic pop-corn popper broke I bought a new one. And I’m sorry to say, the pop-corn I make in the new popper does not taste nearly as good as the pop-corn I made in the old one. To top it off, my new machine cost me $40 – at least $15 more than I paid for the old one.

I could probably resign myself to making the best of it, but recently a friend popped a bag of pretty good microwave popcorn. Up until now I have not liked microwave popcorn. But surprisingly I really liked the popcorn my friend made. And now I’m frustrated that I bought an expensive automatic popper that is unsatisfactory as I can just buy easy to make and inexpensive microwave pop-corn instead.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

BRIDGE PARTNERS

2010-09-25T13:34:00.000-07:00

If today were New Year’s Eve and I had to make a resolution, I would resolve to stay silent when my bridge partners criticize my bridge playing. Actually, I welcome the insightful comments some of my partners make, as I am far from an expert and I appreciate their valuable advice to help me improve my skills.

But then there are a couple women I play with who seem to delight in finding fault with my mistakes. They not only tell me what I did wrong in a scornful and scolding manner, but they repeat it over and over again, saying such things as you should NEVER do this or that. The irony is that they are only mediocre players themselves.

I shouldn’t let it irritate me, but it does. In fact, perhaps they do it because they want to make themselves feel better and I should simply pity them. The smart thing for me to do would be to smile when they say something and say nothing in return. It would make me a more gracious person. Plus, there’s no question that “silence is golden and less is more.”

At any rate, I have a chance to put my “Mid-Year” resolution in practice this evening. Here’s hoping I can REMEMBER to keep my mouth shut!!

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

BLOGS

2010-09-24T08:04:00.000-07:00

A couple years ago, I read that writing a blog every day could increase the traffic to my website. And the results would be obvious within a month. So I tried it and sure enough, the hits to my site did increase. However, it’s time consuming to write a blog every day and so I didn’t keep it up. As a result, of course, my traffic dropped.

And so sometime later I resumed my blog and as before the number of viewers who visited my site increased. Unfortunately, once I achieved my goal, I once again began neglecting my blog. It just took too much time. But here I am again looking at fewer hits to my website. And as you can see, I am returning once more to writing a daily blog.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

JACOB’S SUMMER JOB

2010-09-03T10:37:00.000-07:00

What an amazing coincidence. This past summer my 14-year-old grandson worked at the ballpark for the area’s local baseball team, The Mallards. He worked at the concession stand making funnel cakes, a food I must admit I had never heard of previously. He had a great time and made a lot of money for a “14-year-old kid.”

But the other day, I had a delightful surprise. I drove to a nearby small town to buy shoes at a great little shoe store. My parents liked to shop there for the good buys and because they became friendly with the owner, Steve, who enjoyed visiting Las Vegas as much as my parents did.

When I arrived at the store Steve greeted me and as I started looking around I noticed a couple photos of the Mallard’s baseball team. Later when I commented on the photos to Steve, he told me he owned the team. “No kidding,” I exclaimed, “my grandson Jacob worked for you all summer.” “Oh I wish I had known,” he said. “I would have given him a hard time,” he teased. And, I thought to myself, “How incredible. Steve had known my folks for many years and now he employed their great-grandson. If only my parents were still alive. They would be so pleased.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

Funny Photos Contest

INSURANCE DILEMMA

HUMANA INSURANCE

NEW SWIMMING CAP

BATHING CAP

GOVERNMENT COMPLAINTS

SKYPE CALL ON THANKSGIVING

CONDO PRESIDENT

MY SON

TWO LOAVES OF BREAD

BRIDGE PARTNER

THANKSGIVING

WALKER RECALL

SMALL WORLD

SMALL WORLD

FORGETFUL FRIENDS

FORGETFUL FRIENDS

OLIVE GARDEN

SPONSOR

BIRTHDAY PRESENT

WISCONSIN WEATHER

HUMIDIFIER

FREE CRUISE

FIFTIETH BIRTHDAY

INDIAN RESTAURANT

LIBRARY CARD

TRIP TO CHICAGO

VISITING LILY

GAS STATION SURPRISE

CATHY’S NEW JOB

WRONG EYE APPOINTMENT

PENS FROM ANCHOR BANK

CAPTION CONTEST COINCIDENCE

OVERHEAD CAR LIGHT

DENTIST BILL

CATHY’S CURVES’ FRIEND

SURPRISE FROM NADYA

SURPRISE FROM NADYA

MY SPRINT BILL

LASER EYE TREATMENT

NEW PORTABLE PHONE

THANK YOU NOTES

MY CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE GIFTS

THREE-LEGGED DOG

MORE TELEPHONE PROBLEMS

EMAIL ADDRESS SIMILARITY

FIRST PLACE AT BRIDE

T.D.S., MY TELEPHONE COMPANY

ST. PATRICK’S DAY PARTY

WONDERFUL NEIGHBOR

SHIRLEY SWEET

EXCHANGING MY NEW CD PLAYER

NEW CD PLAYER

MY LOCKED CAR

CATHY’S VIDEO

MY NEIGHBOR EILEEN

MY ANNIVERSARY

INQUIRY FROM ITALY

ICY SIDEWALK

MY CHANUKAH MIRACLE

“THE TOWN”

UNITY HEALTH INSURANCE

MY TELEPHONE BUTTONS

CALCIUM PHOSPHATE

COOKING OIL

FIRST SNOW

REAL ESTATE LICENSE

BURSITIS

BROKEN RIB

BACK-UP DISAPPOINTMENT

CYBER-MONDAY

MARGE JACOBY

TURKEYLESS THANKSGIVING

CRAIGSLIST

SALMON FOR THANKSGIVING

CRANBERRY JELLO MOLD RECIPE

TEA POT

HP PRINTER

DR. BRUSKEWITZ

LIBRARY ASSISTANCE