NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION

I haven’t made any New Year’s resolutions in years, because I know I won’t keep them. But I got a scare yesterday and this year I WILL make and KEEP one. I ended up in the emergency room, after experiencing some confusion and memory loss. As a senior citizen, I feared a mini-stroke. And so I called 911. I assumed I might face a few days stay in the hospital. Thus, I grabbed a small suitcase and quickly filled it with a bathrobe, toothbrush, and a few other essentials including my portable computer –no sense wasting time at the hospital as I had work to do on www.FunnyPhotosContest.com
for cute or funny photos and photo captions. But after a few hours they sent me home. They couldn’t find anything and simply advised me to make a follow-up appointment in three months.

So what’s my resolution? The hospital visit frightened me. As a result, I will take better care of myself. I will STOP staying up until 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning playing FreeCell on my computer. If I slept late in the day, I could continue this foolish pastime. But when the sun rises I wake up and can’t fall back to sleep. Perhaps there’s no connection but certainly a lack of sleep is not doing my health any good.

THE PRESIDENCY

In 2002 when my condominium faced some frustrating problems, the President called a special meeting. And as soon as he brought the meeting to order, he announced that he and the vice president were resigning. I hadn’t attended any meetings for quite a few years and had I know I might not have attended this one either. The members immediately had an election and I became Vice President. Oh well… I could handle that. But two months later, the new President quit!

In February, we will hold our annual meeting and since no one else ever volunteers to accept the position as President, I’ll reluctantly continue my responsibility. Fortunately, we have a small Association of only 19 members and one of the first things I did was to get everyone “on-line”. Now, when there’s a problem, I send out an email informing the members of the situation and then wait a few days. As usual, no one responds and so that is the end of the problem – makes my job easy.

I also don’t mind being President as I’m retired and have the time for it. Between the presidency and working on www.FunnyPhotosContest.com for cute or funny photos and photo captions, I keep busy and enjoy being retired.

FIFTY YEARS AGO

This past summer I celebrated another milestone in my life – my 50-year high school class reunion. As I looked around the room I felt sad for those classmates who had died, but at the same time happy for those of us who could still enjoy this wonderful celebration. We laughed, we joked, we reminisced, and we talked about our lives.

I talked about my new hobby, www.FunnyPhotosContest.com
for cute or funny photos and photo captions, and others talked about their travels around the world, their recent careers, and their successes, etc. etc. Of course, we talked about our grandchildren. And to my surprise, one of my classmates, Tom, not only had two grandchildren the same ages as mine, but our four grandchildren lived in the same nearby small town.

Lo and behold the next day when I talked to my grandsons they confirmed that they knew my classmate’s grandchildren very well. In addition, the four children live within a block of each other!!!

FAMILY STRIFE

As a child my Father repeatedly told my sister and me that we should always love and be good to each other. He said, “After Mom and I are gone, all you will have left is one another.” Little did he ever dream he would be right. My sister never married and my ex-husband and I divorced many years ago. Although I have children and grandchildren, they have lives of their own. So, as Dad said, it is just my sister and I.

Unfortunately, like many other discordant familes, my sister and I now have a very poor relationship. Neither of us is faultless -- we have both wronged each other. And what a shame as I remember so many good things about my sister. Most recently she helped me launch a caption contest on my website www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions and I greatly appreciate all she did.

And though I wish we could reverse the damage we’ve done and the pain we’ve inflicted on one another, I don’t know how.

COMPUTER REVOLUTION

In 100 years from now, history books will probably refer to these days as the “Computer Revolution” just as they refer to the 1800’s as the “Industrial Revolution.” Certainly the computer has drastically affected and changed our lives.

For me, the computer has given me a wonderful hobby, www.FunnyPhotosContest.com
for cute or funny photos and photo captions. In addition it has made it possible for my Mom to stay connected to her family. A year ago she moved to Las Vegas and despaired that she would miss her great grandsons. Thank goodness for computers. I bought my daughter a web cam so that my Mom and grandsons could not only send instant messages, but she could view them on her computer as if she were watching her television set. What a miracle.

HOBBIES

All my life I enjoyed reading and always wished I had more time to read. And now that I’m retired and can read to my heart’s content, I have found a new way to devour even more books than I ever dreamed I could. I discovered books on tape. Instead of reading only while I sit in a comfortable chair or lie in bed, I can listen to books while I’m taking a shower, washing dishes, eating breakfast, lunch or dinner, etc., etc., etc. It's great. In addition, I am never lonely, I always feel like someone is with me and reading me an interesting story.

It’s a wonderful hobby and since I live alone, I can listen whenever I want and as often as I want. As a result I finish about three or four books a week for a total of almost 200 books a year. And the best part is that I can turn on my computer, open the library’s website, select all the books I want to read, and then just pick them up at the library. What could be better?

Thus, I thoroughly enjoy my retirement with my two favorite hobbies – reading many, many books and working on www.FunnyPhotosContest.com for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

UNPREDICTABLE

I can only guess if they will or won’t arrive at my house this evening at 5:00 to eat Chinese food for dinner and then play bridge. It will all depend on the weather. It started snowing at 3:00 last night, will continue until 4:00 this afternoon, and will probably result in a snowfall of 4 to 6 inches and that is on top of the 30 inches we have already received for the month of Dec.

So, should I make preparations for company, not knowing if they will appear on my doorstep? Since, I don’t know, I guess I better. Of course, I’ll be disappointed if they don’t make it, but I can always spend the evening working on www.FunnyPhotosContest.com
for cute or funny photos and photo captions. There’s always something I need to do and I always have fun working on the site.

WEBSITE FOR SALE

Because I’ve had so much fun with www.FunnyPhotosContest.com
for cute or funny photos and photo captions, I decided, last summer, to start another website contest. And so I created www.TheYouTubeContest.com. Contestants can enter their favorite YouTube.com videos and then viewers vote for the best.

The contest is fun and contestants have submitted some very funny and entertaining videos. But I quickly realized I did not have enough time to run two contests. Thus, I had to “temporarily suspend” the YouTubeContest website and hope someone might want to buy it. If only it were 1998 instead of 2008. In the 90’s when the dot com websites were a hot item, people were selling websites for huge profits. But now things have changed and I have no idea if my site will sell or how much I will receive.

THE PERFECT PANCAKE

It’s taken years, but I think I have finally come closer to creating decent “latkes” – potato pancakes. Ten years ago, I started inviting my daughter, son-in-law and two grandsons to my house on Chanuka to celebrate with a latke supper. But it’s been a struggle each year.

When I was growing up, I remember the delicious latkes my Mom use to make. Somehow mine never seem to taste like hers. Of course, one big difference is that she stood at the stove throughout the whole meal frying one after another. Since I wanted to eat with the family, I decided to fry mine ahead and then reheat them. But I faced two problems. First, we all know that practice makes perfect. Since I only make latkes once a year – on Chanuka, how likely would it be that I could succeed? Second, I just can’t seem to master the art of reheating. But this year they turned out pretty good. Don’t ask why, I can only guess that it has been a matter of trial and error, and after all these years, I’m getting better.

At any rate, it is no wonder I would rather work on www.FunnyPhotosContest.com
for cute or funny photos and photo captions. I don’t have to slave over a hot stove or worry about failing

NEW IDEA

I’m trying again with another idea for increasing traffic to my website, www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions. The plan has been brewing in my head over the past few days and I think it’s a great idea. So yesterday, on a new thread in the “Business” forum on myspace.com, I invited viewers to post their websites in the thread and then suggested that every day they click on 10 or more of the other websites. Thus, by clicking on each other’s websites, we would boost the traffic to each of our sites and the search engines would give our sites a higher page ranking as a result of all this activity and popularity.

I was elated with this inspiration. Maybe now the hits to my website would increase. However, it did not last long. This morning when I checked my posting on myspace, not one person had responded. What a disappointment. Oh well. I’ll just wait a week and then try again. Perhaps I can think of a better way to present the idea and make it more attractive.

I MUST BE CRAZY

Sometimes I think I must be crazy. The temperature is well below zero, but after I finish working on www.FunnyPhotosContest.com
for cute or funny photos and photo captions, I will go swimming at the health club !!! Brrrrr, it is so cold when I step out of the pool. I joined the health club 20 years ago as I knew swimming was good for me. And so to keep in good health, I force myself to swim regularly. But I must admit, I would prefer doing anything else besides exercising.

Now I must tell you that, throughout my life, I was never an athlete. I was always the last one in gym class who was picked for one of the teams. And when I taught fourth grade, I even struck out, when the children asked me to play in their baseball game. I was soooo embarrassed. I could only rationalize that from then on any little girl who also struck out, could retort, “So what. The teacher did too!” So it surprises me that here I am, years later, an active member at a health club – come rain or shine, heat or cold.

BITTER COLD

It began two weeks ago with the snow. And today I woke up to freezing cold weather. Of course, it doesn’t surprise me. It’s winter in Wisconsin and when it isn’t snowing it is bitter cold. What can I say?

When I turned on the radio early this morning the announcer warned the listeners to dress warmly. With a temperature of two below zero and gusty winds making it feel like 15 to 20 below zero (the wind chill factor), frostbite can occur within 30 minutes, unless folks make sure they cover all exposed skin with warm mittens, heavy socks, a hat, and a heavy scarf around the neck and face. Brrrrrrrrr.

Like other retired seniors, I can stay indoors all day and simply avoid the cold. Actually, it is a good day to work on the website www.FunnyPhotosContest.com for cute or funny photos and photo captions. Today is the last day of this week’s contest. So I have lots of work to do. I need to display the winning photos, post the new photos for the next contest, and send the winners their prize money. But as I sip my hot tea and keep toasty warm, I can’t help thinking of my grandsons walking to school and I almost feel cold for them.

RECORDED PHONE MESSAGES

I detest pre-recorded telephone messages…almost as much as I hate technical support calls with foreigners whose accent I cannot understand. Thus, I almost hung up the phone yesterday when I picked up the phone and heard another recorded voice. But when it stated the name of my automobile insurance company, I changed my mind very quickly. Lucky for me, as I learned the insurance company had not received my recent payment.


I distinctly remember sending them a check before I traveled to Las Vegas to visit my Mom. But when I called both my insurance company and my bank, there was no record of the check I wrote. Strange, I thought. However, later in the day when I picked up the mail the post office had held for me while I was gone, I found the letter with the check inside. “Mea Culpa” I had not put a stamp on it !!


I certainly would not want to lose my automobile insurance…who would? How would I get to the post office to mail the winners of my photo contest website, www.FunnyPhotosContest.com their prizes? Well, I hope I’ve learned my two lessons -- always make sure every letter I write has a stamp on it and don’t hang up on telephone calls that start with a pre-recorded messages.

ADDICTION

By no stretch of the imagination would anyone consider me an addict. I don’t smoke, drink, gamble, etc. But I must admit that I do have an addiction. It’s an addiction to the games “Free Cell” and “bridge” on my computer. Once I start playing it’s like eating potato chips – one is not enough. I can’t stop playing and I stay awake much too late to play one more and then just another. Before I know it, it is late into the night !!!


Psychologists say that a gambling addiction is a need for excitement. And the computers like slot machines in Las Vegas produce an adrenal rush that stimulates the winner to play even more. Lights flash, bells whistle, and sounds blair. A sense of euphoria occurs.


As it is, I spend a lot of time on my computer operating the website www.FunnyPhotosContest.com for cute or funny photos and photo captions. I must enter the contestants names in the database, resize photos, post the pictures on the website, tally the votes for the contest, send the prize money to the winners, etc. Thus, when I’m finished working on the website for the day, you would think, I would want to do something else. But no, when I’m done, I decide to relax by playing just ONE game. Unfortunately that’s not what happens. And I should know better. One leads to another, then another, and another.


I suppose I can rationalize that those kinds of games are good for keeping my mind sharp. But recent studies show that perhaps social contacts are even more important for preventing senility, etc. Well what can I say…I wish I would stop, but as hard as I try I doubt that I will.

CAR MAINTENANCE

Ever since the gas line froze and my car stalled many years ago, I have meticulously added Isopropyl to the gas tank during the cold and snowy winter months here in Wisconsin. But today I decided to call the Toyota Service Department to ask how often they advised I use an anti-freeze.

Well I must tell you, I have become increasingly more frustrated with customer service representatives. When I called the local Toyota dealership a woman proceeded to answer my question. Now I don’t think of myself as biased, but don’t men know more about cars then women? Anyway, she told me to add the anti-freeze every time I filled up my car with gas. However, I have owned my car for nine years, only put Isopropyl in my car once or twice each year, and my car is in great condition. So I questioned her further. She then changed her answer several times to every other time if I fill a half-full tank, not at all since now-a-days gas companies put additives in their fuels, and Toyota recommends that NO additives be added to their cars !!!!

I only hope that when I respond to concerns sent to www.FunnyPhotosContest.com for cute or funny photos and photo captions I do a better job of answering questions about the photo contest.

Winter Wonderland

What d’ya know? Wisconsin got socked with it’s first big winter storm for the season. And technically winter doesn’t even begin until December 21st, the winter solstice! The snow and ice began falling at midnight and by early dawn we received three inches of the stuff. But that didn’t seem to satisfy Mother Nature. After the snowplows cleared the roads in the early morning hours, we received another five inches of snow!

Of course everything shut down. Schools closed, many businesses locked their doors early, and almost all meetings, sports events, etc. were canceled. But luckily it didn’t bother me. I could simply stay home, brew a hot cup of tea, even pop some popcorn, and turn on my computer to work on the www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions. There is always work to be done on the photo contest. And so I just made myself cozy and got down to business.

Thank Goodness

Thank goodness for portable / laptop computers. I was able to visit my 91 year old Mother in Las Vegas and at the same time attend to the www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest website for cute or funny photos and photo captions. With my computer in hand I knew I could address any problems with the photo contest that might occur while I was away. So off I went – have computer, will travel.

I could even work on my computer while flying on the airplane. Unfortunately, my battery only lasts for about 45 minutes. That meant I had to fill all the rest of the time with something else. As an avid sudoku fan, I always carry a couple puzzles with me at all time. And so the hours passed quickly while en route to see my Mom.

Although I’m not a gambler, it was fun to visit the elaborate casinos like the Wynn and the Belagio and to gourge on all the food in their incredible buffets. I did put a few quarters in a slot machine, but they disappeared quickly and so I lost interest. On the other hand it was fun to watch my Mom play blackjack. She loves the game, is a good player, and never wins or loses much as she always bets the minimum and quits when it’s not going well.

New Scheme

In my never ending quest to attract more hits to my website www.FunnyPhotosContest.com for cute or funny photos and photo captions a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions, I spend hours thinking of new approaches to reaching more viewers. Basically, I would like to advertise to a huge audience without paying a penny.

Well here’s my latest scheme. Comedian/filmstar, Sacha Baron Cohen, is an honorary judge for the “Caption Contest” on my site. However, very few people know the unusual way in which he became a judge. And since he will be releasing a new film, “Bruno” in 2009, I have decided to send Ophra Winfrey the complete story.

Who knows….maybe she will want to share it with her audience and invite the two of us to appear on her show. At any rate I have nothing to lose. So I might as well try.