DR. BRUSKEWITZ

Yesterday when I walked into the health club, I saw a man whom I recognized although I couldn’t think of his name and couldn’t remember how I knew him. And so I said to him, “I wonder if we know each other as you look familiar to me.” Then I told him my name and he told me his name, Reginald Bruskewitz. “Oh,” I replied, “Dr. Bruskewitz from the Urology Department at the University Hospital.” “Yes,” he answered.

That was it. About 25-30 years ago, I had an appointment with him. And so we continued to chat a bit longer. But all the time, I kept thinking to myself, “This man has seen me naked !!”

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

LIBRARY ASSISTANCE

Whenever I’m out and about, someone always offers to help me. They see I have difficulty walking and ask if I would like some assistance and I almost always say yes, thank you and I greatly appreciate their kindness. Today when I alighted from my car a woman approached me. About a week ago she also helped me into the library and so we immediately recognized each other. But it is ironic that we would run into each other again so soon.

I normally stop at the library every Sat. afternoon after playing duplicate bridge at the bridge club and that is when I last saw her. But today I went to the library on a Thursday and for each of us to be at the library on this day and exactly at the same time is pretty amazing. This time we chatted a bit and exchanged our names as no doubt we will see each other again.

Although I wish I didn’t have trouble walking and wish I could walk normally and easily, just think of all the nice people I would never meet.

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I LOVE MY WEBSITE

I must say I love working on my website. It hasn’t lived up to my expectation of making a lot of money, but actually that’s OK. I assumed that because so many other people have made huge amounts of money with their sites, I would too. However, I have not made a fortune. As a matter of fact, I have lost money. Nevertheless, I won’t complain because my site www.FunnyPhotosContest.com brings me so much pleasure and is a great pastime. Plus, it’s my hobby and I probably spend a lot less on my hobby than golfers or hunters spend on theirs.

Every day contestants send me funny / humorous photos or cute / adorable photos and very clever captions. And so I start my day with some good laughs when I read my email. What could be better? For example, today when I received a caption for a photo of a baby sitting in an infant seat and peering intently at a black cat, I laughed out loud at the caption that read, “Great, I’m a newborn and I’m already doomed for bad luck.”

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

GETTING OLD

There’s a lot I enjoy about growing older. I like my retirement and the ability to do whatever I want, whenever I want. I like sleeping as late as I want to and staying up late to play games on my computer. But yesterday when the restore disks for my new computer arrived, I couldn’t believe how frustrated I became at completing the simple task of removing the disks from it’s packaging.

I cut open the packing envelope and took out the disks. Inside the envelope, they were stored in a rectangular plastic case similar to the VCR cases I use to pick up at the video store. Yet when I tried to pry it open, I couldn’t get it to budge. No matter what I did or what I used – screw driver, scissors, etc. – the disks remained secure in the box, while I became angrier and angrier. I knew my grandchildren would have no trouble opening the box, while I didn’t have a clue as to where I should even begin. Yet, I was sure if I were younger I could figure it out as easily as any young person.

And so I went to bed with the disks still in their case. I will have to wait until I see one of my grandchildren and have them show me how to open the “stupid” case. But, nevertheless, I am left with the question, “What is it about getting older that makes it impossible to deal with simple things that kids can take in their stride?”

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

LUNCH

The other day a friend of mine, Lynn, treated another friend and me to lunch. We hadn’t seen each other for awhile and had a great time. But when we walked out and Lynn went to pay, she discovered the restaurant did not accept any credit cards. Unfortunately, Lynn didn’t have enough cash to pay the bill. She felt awful, but I quickly gave Lynn $20 and thought nothing of it.

Years ago, someone told me when you lend money to a friend or relative, consider it a gift as you may never get it back. But the very next day she called to ask if I would be home. I said yes and she stopped by and returned my $20.

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VANGUARD PASSWORD

When I received an email from Vanguard, my investment company, it surprised me to learn they had shut down parts of my account on their website because someone had tried several times to unsuccessfully guess my security question. The message also told me to setup new security questions to once again access all of my account.

I couldn’t image who might try to view my investments. Certainly it wasn’t one of my relatives as they could have easily answered the questions that ask, “What was your Mother’s maiden name?” or “What was the name of the first school you attended?” When I called Vanguard to ask what had transpired, they responded it probably was someone with a similar name who mistyped their own. That seemed plausible and so I proceeded to change my questions.

I picked three new questions and then made up a word to use for all three that, of course, no one could ever guess. But to my surprise a few days later I again received an email that someone had tried several times to unsuccessfully guess my security questions. Once again, I reset my security questions only to receive a third email with the same message. You can imagine the frustration and impatience I felt when I called Vanguard to complain. Luckily, they resolved the matter quickly and I can access my account. The only other thing that would make me happier is for the account to vastly increase to a very large sum of money.

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GOOD POPCORN

When my 25 year-old automatic popcorn popper broke I had to buy a new one. But I was terribly disappointed in the new one I bought. It had a rotating lever that constantly twirled the popcorn around. Unfortunately the lever created a spinning action that broke off lots of thin pieces of husk from the corn, making a messy bowl of popcorn. In addition, they changed the recipe and reduced the amount of oil so that the popcorn didn’t taste as good. And on top of all that the price had increased to $40. I was very unhappy.

However, after popping several more batches of popcorn and making some changes, I am pleased to finally have some good popcorn again. I removed the rotating lever and started using more oil…..and voila I’m a happy camper again, eating more popcorn than I should.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

ORCHIDS AND ICE CUBES

Last Monday evening my neighbors Erika and Ingolf gave me a lovely orchid plant to thank me for the work I’ve done as President of our Condominium Association and to convince me to run for office again. Of course, I appreciated their gift and was very flattered by their support.

Since no one has ever before given me an orchid, I read the instructions carefully to make sure I took proper care of the plant. I do not have a “green thumb” as the saying goes and over the years I have killed more than my fair share of plants because I either over or under watered them. But I have high hopes that this beautiful orchid plant will last a long time. And the reason why is that the watering directions are very precise and easy to follow. But I must admit I was completely shocked when I read, “water with three ice cubes once a week.”

Well here’s hoping. Tomorrow I will place the three required ice cubes on my plant, for the first time. And then I’ll just have to wait and see what happens.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

MUSCLE RELAXANT

Last week when once again I had some pain from sciatica, my doctor prescribed Flexoral, a muscle relaxant, for me. In the past when I took it along with Ibuprofen, my sciatica pain went away. However, this time my doctor prescribed a dosage of three times a day rather than the normal twice a day and unfortunately I had a strong reaction to the medication. Even three days after I stopped taking it I still felt week and dizzy and spacey.

I called my doctor and she found a different muscle relaxant that was less potent and ordered it for me. But when I stopped at the pharmacy to pick it up, I learned my insurance company didn’t cover it and it would cost me $75. “No thank you,” I said. I had used a hot pad earlier during the day that helped somewhat and I decided I would keep using the hot pad instead.

Today, to my surprise, the nurse called me and told me she had contacted my insurance company and discovered another drug, similar to the $75 drug, that the company covered for a much lower cost. And she asked if I would like it. “Great,” I said and I sincerely thanked her for going above and beyond the call of duty to help me.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

LIGHT BULB

I couldn’t believe it this morning when I flipped on the light switch in the bathroom and it remained dark. Since I had the light bulb changed just a few months ago, it surprised me that the bulb burned out so quickly. Perhaps, the light fixture contained a 75-watt bulb rather than one of the halogen bulbs that I started using several years ago. Those, of course, last a very long time.

Nevertheless, the bulb has to be changed and unfortunately because I’m elderly and have trouble with my balance, I can’t change it. Luckily, my next-door neighbor and her daughter are very kind and don’t mind helping me. Thus, when they arrive home from school and work this afternoon I’ll call them. And since I don’t want to take advantage of my neighbors, I have some cookies in the freezer that I’ll give them.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

INGOLF AND ERIKA

I have been president of my condo association for the past eight years. However, uncooperative neighbors with petty problems during this past years have made my job very frustrating. Thus, I have mentioned to a couple owners that I plan to resign.
But upon arriving home this evening you can imagine my complete surprise when I found a beautiful orchid plant on my front porch. One of the owners in my condo association left it for me with a beautiful note. "Thank you Hannah. Erika and I wanted to express a special thank you for your long diligent, diplomatic, devotion to our Associations leadeship affairs. Please reconsider your "stepping down decision. Sincerely, Erika and Ingolf."
Wow...what a nice compliment. And so now I have to think twice. I've enjoyed being President and as I'm retired it has not been difficult. And so maybe, if no one else volunteers, I might consider continuing.

By Hannah, FunnyPhotosContest.com

COMPUTER HELP

When children are small, they need their mother’s help in many ways. As they grow, however, and become more independent, they turn to their mothers less and less. But the other day, my daughter with teenage children of her own called to ask for my help. It felt so good to once again be needed.

Her son had done something on her computer that made it freeze and thus she could not get the computer to do anything. Since I worked at the computing center at the Univ. of Wis-Madison before I retired, I can often solve computer problems, although not always. But this time I could. I told her to turn off the computer and then keep taping the F8 key when she turned it back on. This procedure would start her computer in safe mode so that she could set a restore point.

Before we hung up, I told her to call me back if it didn’t work. But she didn’t call and I felt so good that once again I could help my “little girl.”

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

WICKED

What a great production and I highly recommend ‘Wicked’ to anyone who likes Broadway shows. I took my daughter’s family to see it today and we all enjoyed it immensely. The tickets were expensive, but I decided it would be a wonderful way to celebrate my 70th birthday and so I treated the whole family. The costumes were great, the dialog was clever, the plot was amusing, and the actors/actresses had great voices.

What amazed me was that during the performance my daughter correctly anticipated a couple outcomes. When a small cage with a “fake” baby lion appeared on stage my daughter said, “I’ll bet that will be the lion who didn’t have any courage.” And she was right.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

WISCONSIN STATUE – CONDOMINIUMS

I have been the President of my Condo Association for the past eight years and have enjoyed the experience. There are only 19 owners and there have been very few significant problems. However, since the beginning of this year I have encountered several frustrating problems. And unfortunately our By-Laws do not provide any means to enforce the laws and thus we must depend on the owners cooperation.

But last week the newest problem that surfaced became the straw that finally “broke my back.” One of the owners posted a couple political signs in her yard and another owner who does not share her political views complained to me that our By-Laws do not allow signs without prior permission from the Association. To my chagrin, when I contacted the woman about removing her signs, she became belligerent and refused to remove the signs. “Now what,” I thought, “how am I going to solve this problem?”

And so out of sheer exasperation, I decided I had had enough and sent an email to my Board members stating I would not take any further action on this latest issue, but instead would retire at our annual meeting in February. Since it is highly possible that no one else wants to be President, I called a management company to find out about their services and their cost to run our Association. Lo and be hold, during our conversation I mentioned the cause of my retirement and the woman I spoke to said, “Oh the state statues have been changed and condominium associations can not prevent people from erecting political signs and exercising their freedom of speech.” What a pleasant surprise. The problem was solved and there would be no hard feelings or objections. The only thing that could be better then the resolution of this matter is for the members to elect a new president.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

APPLES

For the last several years I have occasionally ordered groceries from a local store that delivers the groceries to me. They charge a $12 delivery fee, but it’s a great service and so convenient when I don’t have time to go to the store.

I simply open their website, click on the groceries I need, and the next day they are delivered. But yesterday when I unpacked my groceries, I was shocked to find two bags of apples. I thought I had ordered only two apples, but I received 24. Oh well, mistakes happen and I simply gave one bag to one of my neighbors.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.