VOTING

Last week when I learned which candidates had won in our local primary election, I couldn’t help but compare the similarities between political elections and photo contest elections, like www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions. More often then not, the voters do not select the best of all candidates or the best of all photos.

The woman who won in the primary was not the most experienced or qualified candidate, but the one with the most money to spend on advertising. Similarly, the photos that win are often not the best, but rather those that belong to people who can send out the most emails to solicit the most votes for their photos.

In the presidential election we have an electoral college to provide a greater level of fairness. To create fairness in the Funny Photo Contest, the winner needs more than just the most votes. When voting is complete, judges pick the winner from among the five photos that receive the most votes. Nevertheless, neither an electoral college nor judges can insure that the winners are the best of the candidates or photos. And so, until some new process is created, the best is not always the best.

DENTIST APPOINTMENT

I can’t believe that I forgot about it. I pride myself on being well organized, responsible, and dependable. So I was shocked to look at my calendar this morning and see that I had forgotten my dentist appointment yesterday. At the same time, I have had a lot on my mind. My sciatica flared up a couple weeks ago and on some days I can barely get out of bed in the morning. My 91 year old Mother, who lives in Las Vegas, had a blood clot in her arm a couple of weeks ago. And although the doctor took care of the clot, she subsequently developed a urinary tract infection, a slight case of pneumonia, and a blood infection that has made her very ill. In addition, my sister has set up a password at the hospital, making it impossible for me to get any information from the nursing staff and at times to even call and talk to my Mom. But luckily, the good news is that my Mom is making a little progress and hopefully on the road to recovery.

Meanwhile, not only did I forgot my dentist appointment, but I haven’t had much time to work on my website, www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions. So first thing today, I’ll call the dentist to reschedule my six-month cleaning and start working on my website.

GAS & ELECTRIC COMPANY

When I opened my January bill, I couldn’t believe that my gas and electric costs had jumped to $240. Of course I live in Wisconsin and we continually face bitterly cold temperatures in the winter, but $240 seemed outrageous. I called a few neighbors, but they all said their bills had also sky rocketed. So I lowered my temperature a couple more degrees each night when I went to sleep, kept it cooler during the day, and when I remembered I lowered the thermostat upon leaving my house for several hours or more. I assumed I would see a reduced amount on my February bill. However, I saved only $14. The bill had dropped to only $226.

I called the gas company to inquiry, but they simply told me we had an unusually cold February. Fine I thought, I could accept that reasoning except, as everyone knows gas prices have plummeted since last summer. So logically, my cost should be a bit lower at least. I then asked for a comparison of my current bills to that of a year ago. Lo and behold, in Jan. 2008, my bill was $100 less and in Feb. 2008, it was $60 less. Obviously, something here needs to be checked. And so in two weeks they will inspect my furnace. But I will not be happy until I have received some money back. Perhaps I should send some photos to my website, www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions to win some money.

POLITICAL PHONE CALLS

Yesterday, as I worked on my website, www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions, the phone rang and my heart almost stopped when the voice at the other end said, “This is So-and-So your local sheriff.” Oh my word, I thought would did I do wrong. Luckily, I did nothing illegal. The phone call was nothing more than a recorded message encouraging me to vote in today’s election !! To bad they didn’t know that I had already completed and mailed in my absentee ballot several days ago. And so I simply hung up the phone, took a deep breath, and let my heart beat return to normal.

MATZOH BALL SOUP

My Mother, sister, and daughter all tell me that when they cook matzoh ball soup, it only takes 15 or twenty minutes. But every time I make matzoh ball soup, I must simmer the soup for close to an hour before the matzoh balls finish cooking.

So what am I doing wrong? For years, before stores sold a ready-made mix, I prepared the matzoh ball mixture the day before and let it sit in the refrigerator over night. But my daughter said, “No, Mom, I put it in the refrigerator for only 15 minutes.” Since she is a good cook, I followed her instructions. But still, the same thing happened. An hour passed before my matzoh balls were done.

My Mom, on the other hand, told me I needed to cook them in a tightly cover pot. And so I tried again with a different pot that not only had a tight fitting lid, but was also bigger. I wish I could say I was successful, but alas I succeeded only partially. I still had to cook the soup for an hour, but the matzoh balls were softer and fluffier than ever. Guess I should stick to working on my web site, www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

GOOD MOVIE

I like television and movies, but only see about two or three movies a year and watch hardly any T.V. When I’m home, I don’t have much time to watch T.V., as I spend so much time on my website, www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions. And when I go out, it’s usually to visit friends or play bridge.

But I saw a great movie today. A friend invited me to dinner and to watch a rental movie. Since, I enjoy true stories the most, my friend picked the movie, “The Pursuit if Happyness,” based on the true story of Chris Gardner. It is a very heartwarming story with Will Smith playing the lead role. We both enjoyed the movie immensely and would highly recommend it.

COMPUTER STUDENT

I became completely fascinated with computers from the very first time I sat down in front of one in 1980. So, it is no surprise that I now enjoy spending my retirement either working on my website, www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions or providing computer tutoring to seniors at the local senior center. However, I have not received any requests for lessons during the last six to eight months – maybe everyone is too concerned about the terrible economy. But this morning I was pleased to finally receive a phone call from a gentleman who wants to learn Excel, a financial program. And so we scheduled an appointment for Friday afternoon.

I enjoy teaching computer lessons as I taught fourth grade for a few years right after graduating college and then taught computer short courses at the University of Wisconsin before I retired. Thus, I’m looking forward to tutoring once again.

HOME DELIVER

I’ve been so busy the last several days with my contest, www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions, that I just couldn’t get to the grocery store although I needed a lot of things. But thank goodness for home delivery. And even more than home delivery, I appreciate high technology and the ability to click on the store’s website, browse through all their products on my computer screen, and select all my choices. It’s almost as if, I were walking down the actual aisles of the store.

However, when I awoke this morning I remembered that the last time I ordered groceries from the Sentry Grocery store in Madison, Wisconsin, the deliveryman did not include the milk I had ordered as the brand I wanted was not in stock. To avoid the problem this time, I called the store and requested a substitute. “No problem” the employee said and proceeded to hang up. “Wait,” I said, “I didn’t give you my name.” He then completely surprised me by speaking my name and saying he had it right there on his caller ID. I swear, high technology will never cease to amaze me – but then, I’m a senior citizen, “What do I know!”

SCIATICA

I woke up the other day with a sharp pain in my left leg. As I faithfully do my back exercises every day, the return of my sciatica surprised me. But I may have discovered the cause. An ad in a catalogue for health products showed a picture of a man sleeping on his side on a very flat pillow. Eureka, I thought as I stared at the picture. The pillow provided no support for his head and so his head was bent at an awkward angle and put a strain on his spine.

Sure enough, my 20-year old pillow has become soft and as flat as the one I saw in the magazine. Obviously, I need a new pillow. But I also need to stop sitting for such long periods of time at my computer. Unfortunately, this will be difficult. When I work on my website, www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions, I become so engrossed in what I’m doing, that an hour or two can pass before I even notice.

LATE NIGHT VSITOR

Usually I’m asleep by 11:00, but I needed to finish a little more work on my website, www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions. Thus, the knock on my door so late at night, of course, surprised me. Because I could not imagine who would visit me near midnight, I would certainly not open the door. Instead, I drew the curtain back to peer out the window.

I saw a young man in his twenties wearing a heavy coat, as the temperature had dropped well below zero. I felt bad not inviting him in, as I imagined how cold he must feel. But I simply asked him loudly, “Can I help you?” He wanted to use my phone, he replied. However, I still wouldn’t open the door and simply said I would call for him. He gave me the telephone number and I went into the kitchen to make the call. Unfortunately, I didn’t dial correctly and the sleepy woman who answered told me I had the wrong number. When I returned to the door to ask for the number again, he had gone. I can only guess he had not given me a valid telephone number and his intentions were in fact not honorable. Good thing I didn’t open the door.

I FORGOT

I know the birth dates Feb 4th, and Mar 9th, as well as my own. Why wouldn’t I? They belong to my daughter and son. Why then, when I woke up yesterday morning did I not realize it was my daughter’s birthday. True, I woke early and rushed to get ready for my gym class at the university. Then after my class, I picked up my new glasses and stopped to get my hair trimmed. And when I got home, as always, I looked in the mirror and bemoaned how short the beautician had cut my hair. Nevertheless, how could I have forgotten the importance of the day.

And when my daughter called about 3:30 to say hello, I still had not remembered her birthday until she mentioned the birthday treats her co-workers brought to work. Mea Culpa!! I felt just terrible. And nothing, I mean nothing, can make up for forgetting a child’s most special day. She’s a wonderful daughter and often helps me with my website, www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions. And so today I still feel terribly guilty and wonder how in the world I can make it up to her. It’s not much, but maybe I’ll send her an ecard just to let her know I’m thinking of her and love her so.

GARAGE DOOR

For the last six months, whenever I’ve lifted my garage door, it has felt heavier and heavier each time. No, I don’t have an automatic opener, because 30 years ago when I moved into my condo my children ages 10 and 12 needed access to the garage to get out their bicycles. So I’ve had a standard door since the day that I first bought my home.

These days, friends and neighbors often ask me why I don’t buy an electric door now that my children are grown and gone. But I’m use to my manual door and it seems like good exercise for my arms. Nevertheless, something did seem wrong with the door and so I needed to have it fixed. Sure enough the repairman said the spring needed loosening and he could take care of it.

And he certainly did. Now, all I need to do is gently lift the door a few inches and it flies up the rest of the way all by itself. However, my garage door problem has reversed itself, now closing it is a problem. In the past, to close the garage door I could easily give it a slight pull and down it came, but now I have to exert a lot more effort to shut it. Oh well, pulling down is easier than lifting up. Obviously, I need to start exercising my arms to give them a good workout. And that means more than just typing on my keyboard as I work on my website, www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

PHONE CALL

I woke up early this morning as I had a lot of work to do on my website, www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions. But as I stepped out of the shower I heard my cell phone ringing downstairs. It always surprises me to hear my cell phone ring, as without fail I turn it off when I finish using it. But, the slightest touch seems to turn it on, and so often without my knowing it the phone is active.

I decided not to rush downstairs to respond to the call as very few of my friends or relatives know my cell phone telephone number. Most of the time I use it only for free long distance phone calls and in case of an emergency while in my car. And so assuming the call had come from a stranger, I waited to check my phone. About an hour later when I finally listened to the call, I heard a school receptionist say, “Please bring Mary’s glasses to school as she forgot them at home.” Oh Dear! Poor Mary I thought and so I quickly called the school. I told them they had dialed the wrong number and Mary’s family wouldn’t know she needed her glasses. But all’s well that end’s well. The secretary realized her mistake and Mary had her glasses. At least it wasn’t a lamb.

JIMMY THE GROUNDHOG

Sure enough, Jimmy the Groundhog saw his shadow today which means six more weeks of winter. But don’t believe it. In fact, I think you should believe me instead. Even though, I know full well that winter will in reality continue until Mar. 21st -- the vernal equinox and first day of spring, I say the “Worst” is over on Feb 15th! Sure we will stay have some cold days and snow here in Wisconsin. But from here on winter is as good as gone!!! In only two weeks, the days will last an hour longer, the daily average temperature will start to rise, our snowfalls will be fewer and far between, and we can begin looking forward to nicer weather just around the corner.

You might call me an eternal optimist, but the deception certainly keeps my spirits up. So why not? Now if I could just be as optimistic about the success of my website www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions everything would be perfect.