CONDO PRESIDENT

On Sunday, the members of my condo association met for their annual meeting and voted for me as this year’s President. Of course, most people would probably consider this an honor, but in all fairness, I have to admit no one else wanted the job! But let me explain. When I first moved into my condo 30 years ago, I participated in the condo meetings regularly and even held the position of secretary for a couple years. But after that I become involved in other activities and didn’t attend another meeting, until 2002, seven and one half years ago

In July of that year, the President called a special meeting to vote on a new insurance company for our Association. However, because I had serious reservations about the proposed company, I decided to attend the meeting. There was such dissension during the discussion both the President and Vice President quit. And since I spoke out so vehemently at the meeting, the other members decided to nominate and vote for me to replace the Vice President. Prior to the meeting, I had no intention of taking an active role again in the Association. But Vice President’s usually have few responsibilities, so I consented.

Unfortunately, two months later the new President quit and there I was – the third President of our Association in one year. Oh well, I was retired, had the time, and the secretary and treasurer were both competent and well respected members who were easy to work with. In fact, I found that I enjoyed the job. Our condo association contains only 19 members and I decided to collect each owner’s email address to conduct as much business as possible on the computer. This decision has helped simplify my responsibilities immensely. And so when no one else volunteered for the job, I agreed to continue and remain as the president for the eighth year.

By Hannah --www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

WONDERFUL NEIGHBOR

Because I have a disability, grocery shopping is quite an ordeal for me and terribly exhausting. The store is huge and it takes me forever to get from one end to the other. One of the employees, places all my grocery bags in the trunk of the car for me. But when I get home, I have to unload them all by myself (I live alone), then carry them upstairs (my garage is in the basement), and then put all the groceries away.

As a result, I only grocery shop every two weeks or so and stock up on lots of food. I often come home with 14 – 15 bags of groceries. But I’ve been doing it for years and am use to it. However, today I got lucky. When I walked down one of the last aisles, I ran into a neighbor who lives across the street. I mentioned my grocery store ordeal to her and jokingly said, “Maybe I should find a part-time husband to do my shopping!” We laughed and after a few more minutes parted.

Low and behold, as I pulled into my drive, my neighbor happened to be outdoors retrieving her mail. She walked across the street and offered to help me take my groceries upstairs. What a thoughtful and wonderful neighbor. I was so touched and so appreciative of her offer and when she finished I thanked her for being “My part-time husband.”

By Hannah --www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

THE LADIES’ ROOM

I had a delightful lunch today with a couple of friends at Applebee’s . But I swear I almost thought I would have a heart attack. During lunch I made a trip to the ladies’ room. But as I grasped the door handle on leaving the ladies room, I glanced up and saw a disturbing sign. It said, “Gentleman”. Oh my lord I thought did I just use the men’s room? And I quickly dashed out, hoping no one had seen me.

When the door shut behind me I turned my head to look again to see how I could have made such a mistake. But lo and behold the sign on the entrance did in fact say “Ladies.” Well of course, I admonished myself, I had not seen any urinals in the restroom. How foolish I was to have fallen for such a silly trick. Upon leaving the restaurant I joked to the hostess that I almost had a heart attack. And to my surprise she told me that sign has hung on the door for the past 20 years, just as a sign saying “ladies” hangs in the men’s room!! Guess the joke is on me. I’ve eaten at Applebee’s many times over the years and NEVER before noticed it.

By Hannah --www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

GAINING WEIGHT

Ever since I got divorced and lost about 10 pounds I have had absolutely no problems with my weight. Although, the divorce was painful, I was so thrilled to have lost the weight that I had no desire to eat and I kept the weight off for many years. I also started swimming about 15 years ago and no doubt that has helped.

Unfortunately, I’m not swimming as often as I use to and lately I’ve been snacking a lot more. I have been so use to not worrying about my weight that I have just gotten careless. Anyway, in the last couple weeks my clothes have felt a little tighter. And a few days ago, I even decided I should stop nibbling so much. But it’s become a bad habit that’s hard to break.

However, tonight I invited my daughter, son-in-law and grandsons for dinner and when we finished dinner, I felt terribly uncomfortable because I had eaten too much. I am really angry with myself and want to lose the five pounds I’ve gained. But frankly, I’m worried. I had been a little plump growing up and I remember the difficulty of constantly trying to diet with little success.

Unfortunately, since I retired I seem to have far less discipline than I use to. I do things I shouldn’t do and don’t do the things I should -- like wasting time on my computer and staying up too late. I’m not happy with myself, but I’m not motivated to do anything about it. Maybe this weight gain is a wake-up call. I can only hope so. And maybe I can correct the bad habits I have developed.

By Hannah --www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

SUDOKU

I did it !!!! I finally played a game of sudoku and won without any guessing. I am so excited, even if it did take me an hour. I’ve been playing sudoku for about four years although not very often because it just takes too long. Part of the reason it takes me so long is that I always choose to play the hard puzzles. I have tried the easier ones, but they don’t provide enough challenge.

I think I succeeded today because for the past week, I have played sudoku every day. I found a website www.gamesforthebrain.com with a sudoku game that has given me some good practice. And for some reason, perhaps because I concentrate more, I seem to do better at games I play on the computer. At least this has been true when I play bridge on the computer. At any rate, whatever it is, I’m just happy that I finally won a sudoku game without guessing!

By Hannah --www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

LOTUS 1-2-3

In 1981, I sat down for the first time in front of a computer and immediately I discovered that the only way I could remember how to operate the computer was to write down each keystroke I tapped to accomplish a task. Otherwise, it was too easy to forget. And so when I then obtained a job as a computer trainer I realized my students would also benefit from written instructions listing the required keystrokes.

One of the first courses I taught was Lotus 1-2-3, a spreadsheet program. And before the first class began I not only created a complete handout for the program, I published the instructions in a small guide, “Getting Started With Lotus 1-2-3”. The students appreciated the information and told me it provided an excellent resource for them. It also provided a nice income for me as one of the accounting professors at the University of Wisconsin-Madison purchased the booklets as a supplement for all his accounting students and a local utility company bought them for their staff.

But when Microsoft started selling Excel in the early ‘90’s, Lotus 1-2-3’s popularity fell and few people continued using it. I still keep a couple copies as a nice memento and recently discovered that it has gained a little fame. Amazon.com offers it for sale on their website, even though it is “out of print”. I published my book in 1983, before any of the other books with the same name were published. Hmmmmm – wonder if I can sue them and make some money for stealing the name.

By Hannah --www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

SENIOR CENTER MOVIES

For the last a couple of years my friend, Judy, and I have met for lunch and then attended the free movie on Friday afternoon at the local senior center. Thus, when I received the center’s monthly newsletter and saw they would show the movie, The Proposal, I immediately called Judy to invite her to see this movie that many people have recommended. But Judy would be out of town. No problem, I thought, I would call my neighbor, Barbara. But she had to baby sit for her grandchildren. Next I asked Arlene if she would like to see the movie. “Yes,” she replied, “but next week I am having surgery on my hand to help heal my arthritis. So I’ll have to let you know for sure after the operation.”

Well, just in case Arlene would be unavailable, I decided to call Gloria who eagerly accepted my invitation. In the meantime, when I had lunch on Wednesday with Michelle, she told me that she had been feeling a bit depressed lately. To cheer her up, I suggested she attend the movie with me and the other ladies. She said yes and proposed we all have coffee after the movie. Sounded good to me. But what do they say about the best-laid plans of mice and men? The day before the movie, I called each of the ladies to confirm our meeting at 12:15. Arlene had to back out because her hand hurt her too much and Gloria also didn’t feel well and backed out as well. But Michelle was fine and so at least the two of us would see the movie.

I arrived at the Senior Center a couple of minutes early and began to wait in the lobby for Michelle. But when she still hadn’t shown up five minutes before the movie, I walked downstairs to find a seat and hoped that perhaps Michelle was waiting for me there. However, no Michelle. Of the five friends I had contacted, not one met me at the senior center. Oh well, I could still enjoy the movie by myself. But then, to my pleasant surprise, I ended up with a companion after all. A woman I knew and hadn’t seen for sometime walked in, sat down next to me, and when the movie ended suggested that the two of us have coffee at a small restaurant next door. As they say, “All’s well that end’s well.”

By Hannah --www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

HIGH SCHOOL PHOTO CLUBS

It doesn’t take much to make me happy and so the phone call I received today really thrilled me. A year ago, I decided to print bookmarks to advertise my website, www.FunnyPhotosContest.com. I planned to offer them to retailers who sell things for children or pets and veterinarians because most of my website visitors fall into those categories. If the business owners agreed to give them to their clients I would put an ad for their business on my website. To me, it sounded like a great way for both the vendor and me to achieve some easy, free advertising.

However, I haven’t had the success I anticipated from contacting and persuading vendors to accept my proposal. And so, I have had to think of another idea. Perhaps, I should contact high school teachers in charge of their school’s photo clubs. Surely, the students in those clubs would eagerly submit photos to my website. Students always need extra money. Thus, I decided to call the local high school first. But I became discouraged when a couple weeks passed and the teacher failed to return my calls.

Oh well, I would simply have to think of another idea. But recently much to my surprise the teacher not only called me, she easily agreed to letting me send bookmarks to the members of the school’s photo club. I immediately placed a batch of bookmarks in the mail and sat back to wait for photos to arrive. Unfortunately, I’m back to square one. I have not receive even one photo from the local students.

By Hannah --www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

FOX NEWS – TRUTH OR LIES

I recently learned that on Sunday evening, FOX news would broadcast a segment questioning President Obama’s citizenship. One assertion will be that in 1981, a 20 year old President Obama, could not have used a U.S. passport when traveling to Pakistan, because Pakistan was on the U.S. State Department’s “no travel” list in 1981. Thus, he must have used either a British passport or an Indonesian passport proving he was not a U.S. citizen. A British passport would prove he was born in Kenya on August 4, 1961, not in Hawaii as he claims. And an Indonesian passport would prove he relinquished whatever previous citizenship he held, British or American.

But it appears, FOX didn’t check its sources. In fact, in 1981, the U.S. State Department did not issue a no travel list. They did issue a “Travel Advisory” for Pakistan, but it did not prohibit passport holders from freely traveling to and from Pakistan. Moreover, New York Times editor Barbara Crossette visited Pakistan in 1981 and wrote a column with travel tips for visiting the country. If you would like to view the column, published on June 14, 1981, click on www.nytimes.com/1981

It’s a shame that FOX news broadcasts untrustworthy information, as too many ill-informed Americans believe what they hear on FOX news.

By Hannah --www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

THRILL OF SUCCESS

I sold real estate years ago. And with that experience I should know better. Anyone in the sales profession will tell you that their efforts result in failure far more often than in success. And so as I try to generate traffic for my website, I know I should not feel discouraged. But it’s not easy.

Last year I printed 4,000 bookmarks to advertise my site, www.FunnyPhotosContest.com with the hopes of local businesses giving them to their customers. In return, I would place a banner on my site to advertise their business. Of course, I called many business owners, but most said no. I then decided to contact high school teachers in charge of the school’s photo club. Surely their students would eagerly enter my contest to win some money.

However, I needed to first find out if high schools would approve my attempt at solicitation. So I called a local high school and left a message for the “Photo Club” teacher. But days passed and the teacher didn’t return my call. I called a few more times and then gave up. I would have made other attempts to contact other high schools, but other responsibilities required my attention.

Then yesterday, when my phone rang and the local photo club teacher finally called me back, I was thrilled. When I asked if the school would allow me to send the bookmarks to her students, I was pleasantly surprised and doubly thrilled to hear her reply, “Yes”. As there is no fee to enter my contests and my site is “family friendly”, there was no problem. I immediately placed a small stack of bookmarks in the mail and sat back waiting to receive photo entries from students from the local high school. Well, I guess I can’t expect two successes in a row. The teacher said yes, but the students haven’t sent me any photos!

By Hannah --www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

PODIATRIST

Something doesn’t seem right. But I don’t plan on saying anything. A couple of years ago, I started having a lot of pain on my middle toe. When I went to the podiatrist he told me a callus had formed on my hammer-toe. Unfortunately Medicare would not pay to treat it and it would cost me $59. I was not happy, but would could I do? However, within a couple minutes the doctor discovered there was an infection under the callus. “You’re in luck,” he said, “Medicare does pay for infections.”

Well, about a week ago my toe started hurting me again. I was reluctant to go to the doctor and pay $59. Thus, I scrapped the callus away myself, bathed it in Epsom salts, and it felt better for a couple of days. Unfortunately, the pain returned. When I took a good look at it this morning, I saw a little red spot in the middle of the callus. “Aha,” I thought. “It’s infected” and I made a doctor’s appointment.

The podiatrist I saw a couple of years ago was out of the office and so his associate took care of me. When she looked at my “infected” toe, she told me, “It’s not infected. It’s just a callus, but I’ll remove it.” It took her only a few minutes and when she finished she said nothing about the cost. Of course I didn’t say anything either. I simply thanked her and left. I don’t understand it, but I won’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

Perhaps, Medicare has changed its policy. On the other hand if they haven’t, then at some point when the podiatrist’s office discovers their mistake, I will most likely receive a bill. Oh well, all I can do is wait and see.

By Hannah --www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.