NEW WEBSITE

In the last couple months, the traffic on my website, FunnyPhotoContest.com, and the number of contestants has dropped about 50%.  Of course, I’m discouraged and wonder if after 6 years, my site has run it’s course and the time has come to shut it down. I don’t want to end my website as I’ve greatly enjoyed running the site and it has kept me very busy.

In addition, I worry about how I will fill my time once my website goes away.  Luckily, yesterday I received a surprising and actually inspiring email from a classmate.  Since 1992, Chuck R. has operated a website for our high school classmates -- The West High School Class of 1958.  But a few months ago, he closed down the site.  It was a great site and it was a shame he ended it.  So yesterday, when I received an email from Chuck, I was delighted to see he sent an e-newsletter to me and all of my classmates.  Plus, he mentioned he would be sending the e-newsletters about every six-eight weeks.

Eureka!!!! What a great idea.  Instead of my FunnyPhotosContest.com website, I can create an e-newsletters for my relatives.  I have 100’s of cousins whom I don’t even know.  What a wonderful way to connect to them and get to know one another.

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

MRS. MARTIN

My daughter told me that yesterday when she went to the car wash, she began talking to a nice older lady as they waited for their cars.  She said that as they chatted she kept thinking to herself, “this lady looks so familiar.”  But she just couldn’t recall who the woman might be.

And then all of a sudden, she said to the woman, “Is your name Mrs. Martin?”  The woman replied that it was before she  remarried. “Oh my gosh,” my daughter said,  “you were my first grade teacher.”

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

JAMES’S BIRTHDAY

I feel just terrible that I forgot my son-in-law’s birthday last week.  Every January when I pick-up a new calendar for the year, the first thing I do is write my family’s and friend’s birthdays on the calendar.  But somehow I neglected to write James’s name on Aug. 6^th.  And so, I did not send him a birthday card with a check enclosed.

Although it did not make-up for my awful oversight, I did call him after receiving an email, at dinner time, from my daughter stating, “Just a reminder, it’s James’s birthday.  But you can be sure, I will never, ever again forget his birthday.

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

THE ARTIST

On the second Friday of every month, the local senior center offers a free movie.  This month the movie was “The Artist”.   My friends, who had seen it, told me it was very good and described it as a black and white movie without any sound.  It sounded interesting and I looked forward to watching it.

Sure enough the clothes, hair-do’s, make-up, and even the plot resembled a movie made in the fifties.  It was as if I had stepped back in time.  And my friends had been right – it was a delightful film.

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

FIRST PLACE

I almost canceled my plans to play duplicate bridge this morning, but I'm sure glad I didn't.  On Thursday when the right side of my hip / buttock started hurting, I took a muscle relaxant when I went to bed to make the pain go away.  Although I did feel some what better in the morning I took some ibuprofen anyway and did some stretching exercises in hopes of preventing it from getting worse.  Unfortunately, after meeting friends for lunch and then watching a movie at the senior center in the afternoon, the pain returned in full force.  I had been sitting on a hard chair for two hours and no doubt that caused my sciatic to return.

As soon as I arrived home, I took more ibuprofen, iced my hip, and then did more stretching, determined to heal myself. However when I woke, the pain had barely receded.  Nevertheless, as I did not want to disappoint my partner, I dressed and drove off to the bridge class.  I was very uncomfortable all morning, but we won first place, and it was worth it!!!

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

FOSOMAX

I started taking fosomax for osteoporsis in 2003.   But three years ago I began feeling a tingling sensation in my jaw.  Since I heard this could be a dangerous symptom, I called my doctor and she told me to stop taking fosomax.  Instead she recommended I begin taking 4000 IU of Vitamin D3 twice a day.

Unfortunately, in the last year or so, my bone loss has increased and once again I need medication for my osteoporosis.  That is not what I wanted to hear and to make it worse the new medicine costs $2500 a year for a shot every 6 months. 

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions. http://www.FunnyPhotosContest.com>

OIL CHANGE

When I bought my new Toyota a near ago, I received a bonus of a free oil change every six months for two years.  And so, last Feb. I went to the Toyota dealership for my first oil change and while I waited I enjoyed the free cookies they provided. 

Since it’s now August and time for another oil change, I called the dealership this morning to schedule an appointment.  The agent I spoke with asked me how many miles I had on my car.  Since I’m retired and don’t drive a lot, I told him that I have only 3,000 miles on my speedometer.  “Oh,” he replied, “now a days you can wait until you have driven 10,000 between oil changes.” 

What a surprise.  At this rate, I am good for another two to three years!!  However, I’m sure I should not delay an oil change for that long a time.  The serviceman agreed and recommended that I take care of it at least once a year.  That’s fine with me…though I’ll miss the good chocolate chip cookie.

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

ROGER EBERTS

I started reading (actually listening to) Roger Ebert’s book, “Life Itself”.  And to my surprise Rogert Ebert not only grew up in Urbana, Illinois, but was a junior in high school when I was a freshman at the University of Ill in Champaign-Urbana.  How cool that this man whose movie reviews I followed for years and I were at the same place at the same time.  In fact, when he entered the university in 1960, we may have sat in some of the same classes or at least past each other on the University’s quadrangle.

Of course listening to the book felt a little like a trip to memory lane.  What a delight to hear him mention Green Street, the Daily Illini campus newspaper, Gregory Hall, Steak and Shake, etc, places I still remember.

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

BUBBLE STUFF

In two weeks, I’ll be visiting my 2 and ½ year-old granddaughter, Lily.  So yesterday when I was at the drugstore, I saw a little stuff toy with a label on the front that said, “Press me.”  Of course, what did I do?  I pressed the button and the toy started laughing and laughing.  In fact the noise seemed to go on endlessly.  But I thought that Lily might like it so I put it in my shopping cart.

However, as I walked through the store it occurred to me that no doubt Lily wouldn’t just press the button once, she would probably press it repeatedly, thus annoying my son and daughter-in-law immensely.  And so, when I got to the check out counter, I told the clerk I changed my mind and decided not to buy it.  At the same time, I noticed a bottle of bubble stuff that I bought instead.  I’m guessing Lily will enjoy blowing lots of bubbles and her parents won’t object too much.

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

MOCK CHOPPED LIVER

As a child, I loved the delicious chopped liver my Mother made on special occasions.  Of course back then no one worried about the high level of cholesterol chopped liver could produce with its fried beef liver, hard-boiled eggs, and schmaltz (rendered chicken fat).  Over the years I made it a few times, although I hated the work involved -- frying and then grinding the liver.

But a few years ago I ate mock chopped liver at a friend’s house and it was great.  Plus, instead of liver the recipe calls for walnuts and a can of peas.  It’s almost impossible to believe those two ingredients can produce the same taste as chopped liver.  But it does.  Actually I think the key is that in addition to the nuts, peas, and eggs, the recipe calls for several large onions slowly sautéed in olive oil.

So last week, when it was my turn to hostess my bridge group, I decided to serve mock chopped liver with small strips of celery and they loved it.   It makes a big batch, so of course, I had quite a bit left. And I’m glad I didn’t have to worry about high cholesterol, because I ate it all up in no time at all.

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

COUSIN PETER

I remember as a child my Dad talking about his cousin, Alice, in Czechoslovakia.  and I also remember that Alice sent my sister and I a pair of Czechoslovakian dolls dressed in traditional costumes.  Sadly to say none of the family ever met Alice and there was very little communication with her either.

But in 1992 when my sister and my son took a trip to Europe and Israel, they stopped in Czechoslovakia and finally met Alice, her husband, and their son, Peter. Recently, my son’s wife told me that one of her co-workers was born in the same city as Alice.  And it then occurred to me that perhaps I could “connect” with Peter on Facebook.

My concern however, was that he might not speak English.  Fortunately, my grandson told me that I could write a message, then open “google translate” to have it translated to Czech.  “Wow,” I thought, “that’s great.”  And I also wondered, not for the first time, when did my children and grandchildren become so much smarter that I am?

So this morning, I found Peter on Facebook – at least I think it may be him – and sent a message asking if his Mother’s name is Alice.  Now I have to wait in eager anticipation for, I hope, his reply.

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

CROCK POT

Once a week, I go to my daughter’s house to “supervise” my 16 and 14 year-old grandsons.  I use to baby-sit them, but now they are grown and old enough to take care of themselves.  But during the summer when my daughter and son-in-law are at work, it’s probably not a bad idea to have grandma keep an eye on her grandsons and all their friends once a week.

This morning when I walked in I saw a note on the kitchen counter that read, “Boys, please put the crockpot in the frig on the base, plug it in and turn on low.”  I read the note a few times, confused that my daughter wanted the crockpot put in the refrigerate.  But when my grandson came into the kitchen he read the note and knew immediately the crockpot was “in the frig.”  So much for my interpreting skills.

About a half hour later when I went to get a glass of water, I noticed the crockpot was unplugged!!!  So I quickly called my daughter for instructions to make sure her family would have dinner tonight.

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

WAR HORSE

Most of the time, when a book is made into a movie, the movie is never as good as the book.  But yesterday when I saw “War Horse” I was impressed with how closely it followed the book and how it included everything I remembered reading.  Although, one thing in the movie I didn’t remember at all was the war medal that the hero’s father had won.  Nevertheless, it was a very good movie and I enjoyed it very much.

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

SYSTEM RESTORE

Thank goodness for system restore!!!  The other day my cousin sent me several files displaying our family tree.  Since she created it with a special program, she also sent me the link to download the program for free.  It was fun looking at our family tree and I was impressed with all the work she had done and the wealth of information she had collected.

Unfortunately, the next morning, when I turned on my computer, I was horrified when my normal desktop did not appear.  In fact to my dismay the screen was nothing more than a solid pink display.  After an initial few minutes of panic, I remembered “Safe Mode”.   I turned my computer off and then repeatedly tapped the F8 key as I turned on my computer again.  Once my machine booted up, I searched the help feature and was reminded of the system restore capability.  Simply put, by picking an earlier date, the computer would restore my computer to the exact settings, files, etc. that were on my computer on the date I chose and delete anything added after that date.

Woo Hoo!  I was so excited that all would be well.  And sure enough, my computer started working again.  What a relief!!!!!

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

JACOB’S FIRST CAR ACCIDENT

Last Oct, my oldest grandson turned 16.  At the time my car was over 12 years old, so I bought a new one and gave Jacob my old car with less than 50,000 miles on it.  However, there was one stipulation.  He could drive it until he graduated high school in three years.  Then my younger grandson, Jared, would turn 16 and the car would go to him for his last three years of high school.

It was certainly a good plan and hopefully will come to pass.  Unfortunately, the other day, after 9 months with no problems, Jacob had his first and hopefully only fender-bender.  As he backed out of a friend’s driveway he hit a fire hydrant!  Fortunately, the damage near the fender isn’t too bad.  There is a small hole in the exterior and it is slightly crunched like an accordion.  The dent is smaller than a soccer ball and you would hope it would not cost much to fix. But sadly the amount will probably be about three or four thousand dollars – too much to spend on a 13-year-old car.

And so all that will be done is to paint the surface to prevent rusting and to hope that in two more years, my younger grandson Jared, will still have a pretty decent car to drive.

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

MY FRANK COUSINS

My grandfather had three brothers, a sister, and two half brothers.  They all married and had children. And in time, their total offspring numbered 26.  My Mom was one of those children and when all her cousins married and had children the Frank family grew to well over 100. 

Of course with so many relatives, it was impossible to develop a close relationship with all of them.  In fact, there are many of my third cousins I don’t know at all as I have never even met them.  But over the past few years, since my parents and others of their generation have died, I have often thought, “What a shame it is that I have cousins I would pass on the street without recognizing.”

So a few weeks ago, I decided to plan a luncheon for my female, third cousins who live in the area.  I talked to a couple who were thrilled to hear about my idea.  That was all I needed.  I made reservations at a nice restaurant, bought some invitations, and am now just anxiously waiting for the day to arrive.  I’m sure it will be great.

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

KAHLUA

Recently, I had to buy a bottle of Kahlua for a delicious chocolate dessert that I volunteered to bring to a potluck dinner.  However, when I arrived at the grocery store I was almost prevented from purchasing it.  It was late when I walked into the grocery store and late when I approached the service desk to ask for help.  It takes me forever to find what I need in their liquor department as the liquor does not seem to be arranged in any reasonable order. So I asked if one of their staff would please fetch the Kahlua for me.

To my surprise she said, “We have to hurry. It’s ten to nine and we close the liquor department at 9:00.”  In addition, I had to pay for the Kahlua before 9:00 and I could not carry it in my grocery cart.  They had to keep it at the front desk until I was ready to leave the store.   There are certainly a lot of strange laws in our country and this one was sure new to me !!!

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

DEATH BY CHOCOLATE

Last night I had to take dessert to a potluck dinner.  I had originally planned to bring my Mother’s delicious blitz-torte cake made with layers of yellow cake, meringue, whip cream, chopped pineapple and chopped nuts. It was always one of my favorites when I was growing up.  But I feared it might not serve 10 people, so I had to think of another dessert.  Years ago at another potluck I remembered devouring a fabulous chocolate dessert and so I called the woman who made it to get the recipe.

She began by telling me the name of the dessert was “Death by Chocolate,” made with a Pillsbury chocolate cake mix, chocolate pudding, kahlua, chopped heath bars and whipping cream.  And so I made the dessert and it certainly was DELICIOUS.  On top of it, I didn’t have to worry about now having enough.  When I brought the leftovers  home, there was still more in the pan then the guests had eaten.  And trust me … they all ate a lot.  In fact most had seconds.

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

REAL ESTATE DISAPPOINTMENT

In the mid 70’s I held a broker’s license and sold real estate for a few years. Although, I went on to other careers, I maintained my license all these years by taking continuing education classes and paying my real estate fee.  Although I haven’t listed or sold a house since 1977, I have since earned money with my license by collecting referral fees.

I simply call owners who attempt to sell their own homes and suggest to them that if they decide to eventually list their property, I can recommend an excellent realtor to them.  If they accept my offer and then list with the agent that I suggest, the real estate agent pays me 20% of the commission for my referral when the house is sold. 

Not a bad deal. But recently, I was very disappointed.  In January I spoke to an owner who said, she would appreciate my referral.    The agent I then recommended met with her and learned that she wanted to continue trying on her own for another month or two, but would eventually list if she was not successful.

Great, I thought and I mentally calculated my earnings.  However, I didn’t hear any more and so yesterday I decided to check the Internet to find out the status of the house.  Lo and behold, I saw that the owner did, in fact, list with the company I recommended.  I then called to ask for the details and discovered much to my dismay that, yes, the owner had listed her home.  But she had listed with a different agent – not the one I had recommended.  I have no idea how that happened, but the bottom line is I will not receive the money I had anticipated !!!

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

REAL ESTATE

I only sold real estate from 1973 to 1977.  But I have continued to maintain my real estate license by paying my bi-annual dues and taking the required continuing education classes every two years.  And the reason I keep my license is to occasionally collect a referral fee of $500 to $1,000 or more.

About one night a week (or sometimes less) I call people who are trying to sell their own houses.  I wish them good luck, but tell them if they decide to list their property and they don’t know a good realtor, I can recommend an excellent agent.  If they then list with the agent and the house sells, the realtor pays me about 20% of his commission for the referral fee.

It’s a nice arrangement, but unfortunately, it doesn’t happen very often – maybe once a year.  So today, I was very excited when I learned the good news that one of the home owners I spoke to recently listed his house with the agent I suggested.  Now I just have to wait patiently until the house sells, because if it doesn’t sell I don’t get paid.  So here’s hoping.

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

VACUUM BATTERY

I love the new lightweight, portable vacuum that my son and daughter-in-law bought me for Mother’s Day, but I’ve had some problems with it.  The first time I vacuumed my living room it was great. But the second time, within a few minutes of turning it on, it died.  “Oh no!” I thought, “What can the matter be.”  And then I realized, of course the battery needed to be recharged.

So the next time I vacuumed, I made sure that I had charged the battery the required three hours before I started.  Then with no problem, I vacuumed my entire living and dining room.  I love this vacuum cleaner and easily carried it upstairs to finish vacuuming my house.  But within a few minutes it died !!!!  You can imagine how frustrated I was.  I read the manual, then called the Hoover Company, and learned the battery only lasts about 20-25 minutes.  What a bummer.

Since I could never completely vacuum my house in only 25 minutes, my only option was to buy a second battery for a back-up to vacuum the entire house.  But again … what a bummer.  On the other hand, the vacuum had been a gift from my son and the Hoover employee on the phone told me that since my machine was only a couple months old he would give me a 15%  discount on a new battery and waive the shipping.  My total was $62.35.  All in all, not bad, I guess…….

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

OSTEOPOROSIS

Yesterday I had an appointment with an endocrinologist about my osteoporosis.  My doctor had diagnosed it in 2003 and for 7 years I took the medication Fosomax to help build my bones.  But stopped two years ago when I started having jaw problems.  Unfortunately, the bones in my wrist have gotten worse and the doctor wants me to start some medication again.

The  doctor ordered a blood test and will decide which medication I need depending on the results.  The options are either a once a year infusion – a simple office visit that only takes about 15 minutes -- or daily injections which I would have to administer to myself.  Of course, I would prefer the once a year choice.  At the same time, the infusion is for patients whose osteoporosis is worse than expected.  Oh well, “C’es la vie. Whatever will be will be.”

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

SELF SERVE GAS STATIONS

Whenever a driver with a disability drives up to a self-serve gas station pump, the law allows him/her to request that an attendant pump the gas, even though he/she is buying the gas at the less expensive self-serve price.  Since it’s not a problem for me I have, for years, always pumped my own gas even though I have a handicap license plate. 

So today to my surprise, when I pulled up to the self-serve pump at the gas station that I have frequented for over 25 years, an attendant approached me before I even had a chance to step out of my car.  I asked, “Are you here to fill my gas tank?”  “Yes,” he replied.  And I told him that would be very nice – the temperature outside was 100 degrees.  At the same time, I wondered how he knew I had a handicap license, as I doubted he could have seen it when I drove in to the station.”

“No,” he said smiling, “I didn’t see your license, but I’ve seen you here often before.”  What a nice young man I thought.  And when I arrived home, I called Jim, the owner of the station to let him know what a great employee he has and how much I appreciated the thoughtful service he provided.  Calling his boss to compliment the attendant, was the least I could do to repay his kindness.

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

PREGNANT SWIMMER

Today while swimming I noticed another swimmer standing on her head.  But she didn’t just stand on her head once or twice, she accomplishment this feat over and over for probably five minutes.  I thought it a little weird, but then again, I walk back and forth and side-to-side, so who am I to judge another?

Later in the locker room, the same lady unlocked the locker right next to mine.  We got to talking and when I asked how often she swam, she told me she started just recently.  Her due date was in only two months and because the baby was breech she was hoping that exercising could reverse the baby’s position. She read on the Internet that swimming and various exercises might help.  Since the baby is upside, I said, “What about standing on your head?”  And she replied, “Yes, I do that in the swimming pool.”  Hmmmm…Not so weird after all!

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

LENDING MY SISTER MONEY

Ever since we were little girls, I always saved my money and spent it sparingly, while my sister spent all of hers and often very foolishly.  And now that we are retired, I have enough money to take care of myself, whereas my sister, who quit working 30 years ago and lived with my parents until they passed away, has very little and expects me to give her money whenever she needs some.

Over the past three years, we have been estranged and I have heard from her only a few times. Four of the times were emails asking for money totaling $30,000.  Each time I have said,  “No,” as it would do no good.  She wants someone to pay her bills and unfortunately I do not have enough money to support both of us.

At the same time, I feel bad for her and guilty that I’m not sending her something, perhaps $50 or $100 a month.  But today when I shared my feelings with a friend, she made an interesting comment.  She said, “Not to be unkind, but think of it this way.  Imagine your sister were drowning.  You as a good sister would throw a rope to her to save her life.  But the only thing that would happen is that she would pull you into the water with her and you both would drown.”  It may be a disturbing analogy, but certainly hits the nail on the hand.

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

MY 2011 TAX RETURN

It’s May 2^nd and I finally met with my tax account to complete my tax return and receive my refund.  The good news for me is that my refund totals about $1400.  The bad news for my accountant, Kathy, is that I may not hire her again next year.

When she completed the return, she showed me the comparison of my tax returns for the last few years that she has done my taxes.  As I looked at the different  numbers, I noticed, with surprise, that the year before I had only received a refund of $999.  I asked Kathy what made such a big difference when my basic finances were practically the same for both years.  She took a few minutes to look at it and found that the federal government had not deducted any taxes in 2009 …. and then, “Oops,” she said, I didn’t see the deduction from the state which entitled me to an extra $600. “Wow” I thought and immediately asked if we could file an amendment.  Of course she did and my $1400 grew to $2000.  Good thing I spotted the difference.  But next year I’ll have to think twice about whom I will hire to file my taxes.

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

JARED’S NEW JOB

Two years ago when my oldest grandson, Jacob, turned 14 he began working at the local baseball park.  The manager assigned him to making funnel cakes and as he did a good job, they hired him to come back the following summer too.  Well this year, his brother Jared, my other grandson, turned 14 and two weeks ago, he went to the ballpark for a job interview with hopes of also working there with Jacob.

Several days past and Jared heard nothing from the employer, though he learned that a couple girls in his class, who also interviewed at the ballpark, did get hired.   I didn’t say anything, but I felt so bad for Jared that he too did not receive a job offer.  He’s a bit overweight and I wondered if perhaps that might have played a part in the employer’s decision.

But last night the phone rang and to my delight Jared called me and said, “Guess what?  I got an email offering me a job at the ballpark.”  When my children were young, whenever they were happy, it made me happy too.  And now that I have grandchildren, I feel the same happiness, whenever they are happy. It was a great day.

By Hannah
www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

MY SENIOR FRIENDS

Now that I’m a senior citizen, I worry that my friends might forget to show up when we make plans to get together.  And rightful so, as it has happened on one or two occasions.  Thus, recently when I made plans with four friends to meet for lunch and then go to the local senior center to see, for free, the movie, “The Descendants,” I called each one that morning to confirm (or I should say remind them) of our plans.

Lo and behold, when I called Gloria, she said, “Oh my goodness, I’m glad you called, because I’m afraid I did forget.”  Fortunately the other two ladies said yes they did remember and would meet me at the restaurant.  So at 11:00, Gloria and Arlene arrived at the restaurant.  We waited awhile for Joyce and finally, after 15 minutes, decided we needed to be seated and order our lunch. 

I couldn’t imagine what happened to Joyce, although, I know she has had memory lapses recently.  But 45 minutes later she did show up and told us she had met another friend for breakfast and so just ordered a cup of coffee as we finished our lunch.

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

RICK’S SPAM EMAIL

The other day, I received an email from my son Rick with an offer to make money at home.  I knew immediately that it was spam.  Rick works for a financial company and thus he gives me excellent financial advice, certainly not get rich schemes.

As I looked at it more closely, I noticed that my sister also received the email.  I knew Rick would not appreciate that.  He does not like his aunt for several reasons, one of which is that she has asked to borrow money from him, even though she has no way of repaying it.

Oh well, nothing that can be done about it, though I’m wondering how long it will take until she contacts him again to borrow money!

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

TRUSTING SALESMAN

The other day I bought a new vacuum cleaner and the salesman told me he would give me a $100 discount on the price for bringing in my old vacuum.  Of course I was very pleased and today I drove back to the store with my old vacuum in the trunk.  But when I walked in, he looked puzzled when I handed him my credit card in order to receive the discount.

It almost seemed as if he didn’t remember selling me a vacuum.  And so I said, “Here, I have the receipt in my purse.”  He took the receipt and carefully looked it over.  “Oh yes,” he replied, “I applied the discount to your bill at the time you purchased it.”  And sure enough he showed me the lower price that I paid. 

I never looked at my receipt and didn’t know it had included the discount.  But what really surprised me and I even said to the salesman,  “You are certainly a very trusting person and that was very nice of you since you had no way of knowing whether I would, in fact, bring you my old vacuum.”  He just smiled and replied, “Oh, I knew you would.” 

“Hmmmm,” I thought and I guessed it probably hadn’t really mattered if I did or didn’t !!!!

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

ENDOSCOPY

Yesterday, I had to go to the hospital to have an endoscopy.  This procedure requires the doctor to insert a scope down my throat to view the inside and if necessary do a balloon treatment to stretch my throat a little.  Of course, I received sedation so I never felt a thing.  Luckily all is well and I don’t have to worry about it.

And the really good part of the whole things was that the doctor told me to restrict my diet to soft foods for the next 24 hours.  The list of foods I received included pancakes for breakfast.  Since the ingredients in pancakes and waffles are almost identical (one tablespoon of oil is added to the waffle batter), I asked if I could have waffles instead.  I was pleased to learn I could.  I love waffles but seldom make them.  And so with this good news, I decided to treat myself to waffles this morning ;-)

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

DR. WEISS

Today I had an appointment at the hospital for a simple outpatient procedure to learn why food occasionally gets stuck in my esophagus.  I have never before been afraid of going to the doctor or having a medical test, but for some unknown reason, today I did feel a little apprehension.  I don’t know why unless as I’m growing older my mortality becomes more real.

Nevertheless, when the doctor who would perform the procedure walked in the room my trepidation increased and my blood pressure rose to a high of 167 or 85.  Normally, my blood pressure hovers around 90 over 60.  The doctor, I kid you not, looked almost like a teenager!  I guessed her age at maybe 25 and worried that she was too young to have sufficient experience to put a scope down my throat.

I had to say something to find out about her competence, but certainly did not want to insult her.  So I simply said, “I bet all your patience say you look so young.  But since medical school requires many years of school, you must at least be in your late 20’s.”  She smiled and replied, “Yes my patients do share your opinion, but I’m in my late 30’s and my birthday is on Saturday.”

I felt much better knowing she had practiced medicine for at least 10 years and as she explained the procedure she would perform, I gained more confidence in her ability.  Shortly thereafter, the nurse sedated me and the next thing I knew, the mini-surgery was over and I was just fine.

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

NEW CUSTOMERS FOR OXI FRESH

After 40 years, my vacuum cleaner broke. But it had a ‘long run’, so I can’t complain.  Thus, I went to a vacuum cleaner store today to buy a new one.  The salesman showed me a wonderful light-weight cleaner that weighed only six pounds.  Perfect, I thought until he told me the price was $400 … not so good. Luckily I asked if he had any other light-weight vacuums for a lower price.  Indeed, he did and I bought one for $300.  And to sweeten the deal he offered me a 10% discount for bringing in my old one.  I was a happy camper.

In addition, another good surprise awaited me.  As I gave him my credit card it occurred to me that I might be able to greatly assist my son-in-law, James.  He owns the Oxi Fresh Carpet Cleaning Company and so I asked my salesman if many customers ever asked him to recommend a good carpet cleaning company. “Yes,” he responded and I proceeded to tell him about James’s business.  “Oxi Fresh is great,” I said, “It’s environmentally safe, the carpet is practically dry by the time the technician is finished cleaning, and each time I’ve had my carpet cleaned my friends and neighbors have asked if I had purchased new carpet.”

When I left the store I called James to tell him my good news.  Of course James was very pleased and said he would stop by to introduce himself.  Here’s hoping there’s lots of business ahead for James.

By Hannah

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

THE IRS AND MY 401K

When I talked to my friend, Jane, today she told me to call the IRS immediately as they could take 50% of my retirement. “Oh no,” I said and at the same time thanked her for letting me know. Last summer I turned 71 and ½. I knew that the IRS required retirees to start withdrawing money from their IRA’s at that age, but I didn’t think I had any IRA’s.

Sure I had investments, but I didn’t realize the money in the TIAA-Creff account that I had accumulated while I worked at the University was, in fact, a retirement account. I have several investments and the only one I considered as a retirement one is the Roth IRA I have with Vanguard which does not require withdrawals.

So, my 71st birthday came and went and I did nothing. Chances are TIAA-Creff probably sent me a letter explaining I had to make a withdrawal. However, I receive so much “junk mail” from them, that I pay little attention to it. I know… My fault. But it’s spilt milk now.

Of course, I did as Jane suggested and called TIAA-Creff. Luckily they were very helpful and assisted me in taking care of the problem. When I asked about the 50% that the IRS could take, they told me, “Yes, if I get audited, the IRS will take ½ of the money I should have withdrawn.” Oh well, what can I do and if I’m lucky, they will just ignore the ‘small’ amount. But what really frustrated me was that although, the law states the money should be withdrawn when you turn 70 and ½, they give you about 9 months to pay it. For me the deadline fell on April 1, 2012. And what a shame, I called TIAA-Creff on April 20th. If only I had called three weeks earlier!!!!

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions and www.EndTheAfghanWar.com .

OSTEOPEROSIS

Eight years ago, my doctor prescribed fosomax for me as I had developed osteoperosis. My bone scan measured –3.5, one point more than the base line for having the disease. My next bone scan, a couple years later, showed a little improvement, -3.3.

Good news I thought and continued my weekly dosage of fosomax. However, a year later, I started having some tightness in my jaw. Not a good sign. Plus I had started hearing that too many years of taking fosomax could actually be detrimental to good bone health. So I contacted my doctor and she agreed to stop the regime. However, as a safe guard she told me to take 4,000 mg of Vitamin D every day, which I did.

Unfortunately, at my most recent annual physical exam, my doctor gave me good news and bad news. Another bone scan measured my overall bone density as –3.2, more improvement. However, my wrists had weakend and the brittle bones in my wrist measured –4.2. Thus, my doctor has referred me to a bone specialist.

Of course, I am very concerned about my wrists. But since I am very conscientious about exercising to keep my back as strong as possible and my MS “at bay”, I decided to add a new exercise to my daily routine. I hold a can of soup in each hand and twist my wrists up and down and back and forth, etc. They say weights are important for building bones and I’m sure going to try.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions and www.EndTheAfghanWar.com .

LATE FOR BRIDGE

For years I have enjoyed playing duplicate bridge. And while my Mother was alive she and I played bridge a couple times every week. But now, I don’t have a regular partner and every week I make lots of phone calls to find a partner.

Yesterday morning, when I called Skye, she told me she would enjoy playing and I told her I would see her today at noon. But at a quarter to noon she had not yet arrived, at 10 to she had still not arrived, and at noon when the bridge game began Skye had not shown up at all. The man in charge tried calling a few members to see if someone could quickly drive to the club to be my partner. Unfortunately, everyone he called said, “No.”

I had no choice, but to leave. However to my complete surprise, at 12:15 as I walked to the door, Skye entered the bridge club!!! She thought the game started at 12:30 and I was so glad to see her.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions and www.EndTheAfghanWar.com .

COLDEEZE

Thank goodness for Coldeeze. Several years ago, my son told me about it. “Just take a lozenge the minute you feel a cold coming on and it prevents the outbreak of your cold.” Sounded good to me and so I tried it and sure enough I had the results he predicted.

Thus, I carry a Coldeeze lozenge in my purse at all times, to make sure, no matter where or when, I always have access to a tablet. The problem is that once I use the tablet in my purse, I must be sure to replace it. Of course, now that I’m a senior citizen that becomes more difficult.

This past Saturday, while I was out, I sneezed and immediately reached in my purse for the Coldeeze. The next day luckily, as usual, the cold did not inflict me. But at the same time, it slipped my mind and I did not replace the missing tablet in my purse. Fortunately, later in the day, when I heard an advertisement for some cough syrup, a light bulb went off in my head and I rushed to my medicine cabinet and restocked my purse!

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions and www.EndTheAfghanWar.com .

FRIDAY THE 13TH

I must admit I have always been a bit superstitious. And so when I woke up this past Friday morning on April 13th, I wasn’t surprised to be faced with bad luck. I looked out my back window and saw that my neighbors had placed about 6 of their trash bins across the entrance to my driveway. I had plans to meet a few friends for lunch and needed to drive out about 10:30. But with those trash bins blocking my way, I would have trouble navigating out of my garage.

Unfortunately, I don’t know my neighbors, as there are tenants in the 4-unit building next to mine. So I couldn’t call them. All I could do was get dressed and ready to go and hope for the best. Being Friday the 13th, I didn’t think I had much chance. But I got lucky. Not only did the trucks pick up the trash early, but the neighbors moved the trash bins before I was even ready to go.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions and www.EndTheAfghanWar.com .

LILY & LAKE GENEVA

My two-year-old granddaughter lives in Chicago, so I don’t get to see her very often. But today I drove to Lake Geneva to see Lily and my son and daughter-in-law as it’s a good halfway place to meet and they were there for a little weekend vacation. It was great to visit with them and I got right down on the floor with Lily to play with her.

I brought along a musical toy for Lily and she enjoyed playing with it. But she ignored my other present a silver crown that I had made for her from heavy paper and tinfoil. A week ago when my son and I “skyped,” Lily had covered herself with a blanket and said she was a queen. “Aha,” I thought she needs a crown. And so I googled BurgerKing to find a picture of the crown that’s displayed in their ads. I drew a copy of it and made a crown. I thought for sure that Lily would love it. But since a whole week had past, I guess she forgot all about being a queen ;-)

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions and www.EndTheAfghanWar.com .

MY SILVER PEN

I have always carried a pen in my purse just in case I needed to write something down. And several years ago, I bought a pretty silver pen to keep in my purse. Unfortunately, instead of a zipper, my purse snaps shut and so there’s a little opening at either end where small things can possibly fall out.

Today when I stopped at the bank to cash a check I opened my purse to pull out the pen. But lo behold it was gone. I tried to think back over the last couple of days where I had been and when the pen might have dropped out. Alas, I feared I had lost it for good. Nevertheless, when I got back into my car, I decided to look on the floor and I can’t tell you how thrilled I was to see my silver pen.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions and www.EndTheAfghanWar.com .

LUNCH GUEST

Yesterday when I was on the phone talking to my neighbor, I mentioned that I planned to make sweet and sour cabbage soup today. I added that though it is a very simple and easy recipe, cutting up the cabbage is a real hassle. When she told me she had never eaten sweet and sour cabbage soup, without thinking I immediately said, “Well, why don’t you come over tomorrow and have some soup for lunch.” “Thank you, I would love to,” she replied.

Good grief, I thought. I am so busy for the next few days, I really don’t have time for a lunch guest, tomorrow. But, she is a good friend and I enjoy her company and no doubt we would have a nice time. Meantime, I know that somehow, all the work would get done and spending time with friends is more valuable than doing chores.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions and www.EndTheAfghanWar.com .

BUSY DAY

I don’t know how I foolishly scheduled both a doctor’s appointment and a dentist appointment on the same day, but I did. Oh well, I had the dentist appointment at 10:00 and the doctor appointment at 1:00 and so be it, I had no choice.

I assumed I would be finished about 2:00 and since I had to purchase some vitamins, cosmetics, etc, I decided I would have time to stop at the drugstore before going home. But the doctor was later than I expected and she ordered a blood test. Thus, I didn’t leave the clinic until almost 3:00. I was tired and considered postponing my trip to the drugstore. But as I past it on the way home, I thought to myself, “Don’t put off till tomorrow what you can do today.” Thus, I parked the car, went into the store, and spent another 45 minutes shopping.

So you can imagine that by the time I walked out of the drugstore and got home, I was exhausted !!!!

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EASTER SUNDAY

My health insurance company pays me $200 a year if I exercise at the health club a minimum of 10 times a month. And so every week as I plan my activities, I make sure I schedule 2 or 3 visits to the health club. Well this weekend, because I had stayed out late on Friday night, I planned to go to the club on Sunday instead of Saturday -- for my usual workout. But when I turned on the radio, as I woke up this morning, I heard some ‘bad’ news. The radio broadcaster made an announcement about the Pope leading an Easter service at the Vatican.

Oh my gosh !!!! Well, of course, the health would be closed today on Easter Sunday. How could I have been so thoughtless? Obviously, I’ll have to squeeze in an extra visit sometime during this next week. What a hassle, but I should have known better.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions and www.EndTheAfghanWar.com .

ROBO-CALLS & DOCTOR APPOINTMENTS

I frequently receive “robo-calls” from non-profit organizations and politicians, but yesterday, I received “robo-calls” from both my doctor’s and dentist’s office as I have appointments on Tuesday to see both of them.

I appreciate the reminder calls, but they need to “get their act together.” I was not at home to answer either one of the calls, thus, the “robots” left messages on my answering machine. Stating the time and date of my appointment was helpful, but the “robot” then instructed me to press ‘1’ to confirm my appointment.

That is all well and good if I had taken the call personally. But I played the message on my answering machine instead and pushing the number 1 only resulted in activating the next call. Well that sure is stupid. What do they expect me to do now? Of course I will have to call the doctor’s and dentist’s office to assure them I will arrive for my appointment. But whoever recorded the “robo-call” should have provided a telephone number for the calls that did not get picked up by a human!!!

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions and www.EndTheAfghanWar.com .

MY INVESTMENT BROKER

This morning, my investment broker, June, called and asked me if I had called her last evening. Her call surprised me, because I have never call her at home only at her office. But I had in fact made several calls the night before and it dawned on me that without knowing it, one of the calls might have been to her.

I own a little real estate business where I call homeowners who are attempting to sell their own homes. I wish them good luck, but add if they ever decide to stop trying on their own and list with a real estate agent, I can recommend an excellent realtor at no charge to them. This in fact is true because instead of the owner paying me, the realtor pays me a finder’s fee when the house is sold. It’s not a bad business. I simply make some phone calls and collect anywhere from about $500 to a few thousand dollars!!!

And so by coincidence, the other night, one of the calls I made, unbeknownst to me was to June.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions and www.EndTheAfghanWar.com .

HEALTH CLUB MEMBER

As I drove up to the library this afternoon, I noticed a woman I recognized walking towards the library. I reached the door at the same time she did and realized I knew her from the Health Club. I have often seen her swimming in the pool at the same time I swam.

I said, “Hello,” and asked if she planned on going to the health club after she finished at the library, as that’s what I planned to do. She replied yes, but she had a few errands to run before heading to the health club. By coincidence I also had to make another stop and would be at the club after picking up some groceries.

And lo and behold, an hour later we met again in the swimming pool. What a coincidence!

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions and www.EndTheAfghanWar.com .

WEBSITE TRAFFIC

Every webmaster anxiously tries to drive lots of traffic to their site. Of course, I’m no different and I frequently google keywords for my site to see on which page google has placed my site. I always hope www.FunnyPhotosContest.com will appear on the first page. Unfortunately for most searches I don’t even come close.

And so I decided to survey the contestants who send photos to my site to find out how they discovered the site. To my great surprise the four people who have responded so far all said, they found my site through a google search. Unbelievable!!! I didn’t know what kind of results I would receive from my survey, but the frosting on the cake came from one person who also wrote, “Your site is great. Really enjoy. Found your site on google when searched for funny photos contests. Keep up the great work.”

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions and www.EndTheAfghanWar.com .

STEVE H.

Recently when I talked to my friend Steve, I happened to mention that my daughter and her family would be coming to my house for the Passover seder. He kind of hinted that I should invite him. But I hadn’t purchased enough food so instead I invited him to come for lunch today and I would make fried matzoh (a mixture of matzoh fried with scrambled eggs), one of his favorites.

But yesterday as I was getting things together, I couldn’t help but wonder if Steve would actually show up. He does have a habit of canceling plans. And sure enough, I was right. The phone rang early this morning and Steve said he didn’t feel well and was going to urgent care to see a doctor. Oh well … less work for me.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions and www.EndTheAfghanWar.com .

TAHINI

I make great humus and all my friends enjoy it whenever they visit. The key ingredient besides garbanza beans is tahini. Unfortunately, the store where I shop for groceries has stopped carrying tahini. There’s another small grocery store where I sometimes shop, but when I called to ask if they sell tahini, they regretfully told me, “no”.

Luckily, I have wonderful neighbors. Recently I told my neighbor, Barb, about my dilemma and yesterday morning¸ by complete surprise, she called me to tell me she was at a store I have never been to. Lo and behold they had tahini on their shelf. So she asked if I wanted her to buy it for me. Of course, without a second thought I said, “Yes, please do. And thank you, thank you, thank you.”

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions and www.EndTheAfghanWar.com .

NICE SURPRISE

Yesterday, as I drove into my driveway, I saw my two neighbors, Barbara and Debby, out for their daily walk. They stopped to chat for a minute and said that after their walk they planned to grab a bite to eat. They asked if I would like to join them and I said, “Great!”

I hadn’t yet decided what to make for dinner and so I was pleased to accept their pleasant alternative to cooking. And as an added bonus, I couldn’t eat everything so I took part of my dinner home and had enough for today’s lunch.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions and www.EndTheAfghanWar.com

NEW WEBSITE

Too many American lives have been lost and too much money has been wasted on the war in Afghanistan. It is time to end this war now. Unfortunately, no one seems to be in the streets protesting and Washington doesn't seem to be taking any action.

And so, I created a website petition and hope to receive thousands – maybe millions – of signatures to convince Washington D.C. that enough is enough and we should get out of Afghanistan NOW. Unfortunately, although I have sent emails to almost 1,000 people so far, only a handful of visitors to the site, www.EndTheAfghanWar.com have signed the petition. I’m disappointed and don’t understand why. I have assured the viewers that on request, I would not post their last name, only the first three letters of their last name to protect their idenity.

But I’m certainly not going to give up. I just have to think of more ideas to achieve results.

www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

PASSOVER

Every spring Jews celebrate Pesach (Passover) to commemorate Moses’s success in leading the Jewish slaves out of Egypt. And on Pesach the festive meal that Jewish women serve in honor of the holiday, includes many foods symbolic of the years of slavery and the miraculous flight to freedom.

The food is delicious and the holiday very special. But there is just so much cooking to do. For my meal I start the meal with deviled eggs and charoses a mixture of chopped apples, nuts, cinnamon and wine, followed by matzoh ball soup and gefilte fish, then brisket, baked potatoes, toss salad for the main meal, and sponge cake, with strawberries and cool whip, and tea for dessert. Whew!!! I get tired just thinking of it. Thank goodness Pesach only comes once a year.

By Hannah www.FunnyPhotosContest.com a photo contest for cute or funny photos and photo captions.

OLD FAMILY FRIEND

I was stunned today to learn that, Roz, an 88-year old friend of my Mom passed away. Although, I didn’t know her well, my parents had been friendly with Roz and her husband when they were all still alive.

Whenever someone dies, it is always very sad. But now that I’m a senior citizen I am faced with death more often. During the last year, it seems that every month, someone I knew died. Most were simply acquaintances, but each time, I felt very sad.