THE WIZARD

My family always enjoyed playing board games, cards, and card tricks. To this day I still enjoy those pastimes and I have even taught them to my children and grandchildren. There was one trick my parents taught me, however, that was exceptionally unique. They gave me a deck of cards and told me to pull one out. I showed the card to my Mom and then she went to the telephone, dialed a number, asked if “The Wizard” was there, then said she wanted to speak to the wizard. After a minute or two she said, “Would you please tell my daughter the card?” I was, needless to say stunned when the Wizard told me the card I was holding.

Over the years, I have enjoyed thrilling my friends with the trick and now my grandsons are doing the same. Recently, when my phone rang, I recognized the voice of my youngest grandson asking, “Is the Wizard there?” We finished the call and I knew my phone would ring several more times again, as my grandson’s friends would want to repeat the trick. But in the middle of the third call, my grandson screeched “OH NO?” He had accidentally hit the speaker-phone button and all his friends heard how the trick was played!

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FRUSTRATING TELEPHONE SUPPORT

I feel guilty that I lose my temper and get so angry. Actually the poor employee on the other end of the telephone is not to blame that I can’t understand his or her foreign accent. But it is just so frustrating that I can’t get the information I need and I have to waste so much time.

The people responsible for the problem are the greedy American CEO’s who ship all their jobs for telephone customer service and technical support oversees. Unfortunately foreigners have been replacing American workers for the past five to ten years. And it doesn’t seem like it will change anytime soon. But it’s a terrible shame. I’m sure I’m not the only one who shares my frustration. And even worse is that so many American citizens have lost their jobs and are unemployed.

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LEGAL MEDIATION

Times have certainly changed – lasers, computers, Ipads Kindles, etc. etc. But to my surprise, even the legal profession has changed. Years ago when my ex-husband and I divorced, we each had to hire separate attorneys to literally fight over the terms and conditions of the divorce.

But, I learned recently that they have developed a new, more civilized procedure. Now, one attorney acts as a mediator to resolve the entire procedure. As a result, it is easier and more amicable. Too bad it wasn’t available when I got divorced.

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STREET GANG

No doubt you have heard the old saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” I certainly have. In fact, if he spoke these words to me once, my Father spoke them a million times and as always he was right. Recently, I read a book that clearly demonstrated this admonition. When I checked out the book, “Street Gang” from the library, I imagined vivid scenes of teen-agers fighting with knives and guns.

But the story to my complete surprise and sheer delight was the total opposite of what I expected. It told the history of a very unique and charming street gang -- a gang that will surely generates wonderful memories and bring a big smile to your face just thinking about it. It’s the gang you grew up with, Big Bird, the Cookie Monster, Oscar the Grouch, Kermit, Miss Piggy, Elmo, Mr. Hooper, etc. – the wonderful Sesame Street Gang !!! And if you haven’t yet read the book, you might want to hurry to the library to check it out, “Street Gang” by Michael Davis.

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HANDYMAN

I can’t believe how inconsiderate he is. Not only did he absentmindedly walk off with my screwdrivers and then neglect to call and let me know that he had them, but now he is putting off returning them to me. Several days after he installed my new smoke detectors I discovered my screwdrivers were missing. I immediately remembered that I let my handyman use them and realized he still had them.

No problem. I simply called to ask when he could return them and he replied tomorrow. Great I thought. But about 4:00 when he had still not appeared, I called again. “So sorry,” he said, “today has been crazy, but I’ll drop them off tomorrow morning.” I told him I would not be home, but to just leave them in the front door. Needless to say, I was not surprised to find there were no screwdrivers when I opened my front door.

And so I called again! “So sorry,” he said again, “I can’t find them, but I think they are on my dresser. I will bring them to you tomorrow.” Well, I am really irritated now. It’s not that I need the screwdrivers immediately, but his irresponsibility and lack of courtesy is annoying and I’m beginning to think I’ll never get them back. Granted I’m guessing he will replace them – after all he won’t want to lose my business, but these were very special. They formed the handle of my little hammer. When I unscrewed the handle, a regular screwdriver appeared. And lodged inside the screwdriver were two smaller ones. What a convenient little tool. And I want them back!!

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LUCKY BRIDE

All week long I checked the Internet for the weekend’s weather forecast. I feared possible rain for the Sunday. 12:00 noon wedding I would attend at a nearby park. Why are young people so impractical? There would always be a 50% chance of rain to ruin a perfectly wonderful occasion. Granted an outdoor wedding in a beautiful park would be lovely. But one could easily expect a cold, rainy day for May 2nd.

Throughout the week, the radio weatherman and the websites I viewed all vacillated between possible rain and sunshine for Sunday. Even as late as Saturday afternoon, the forecast predicted Saturday evening showers that would end by noon on Sunday. And since you can never trust the weatherman, it was not looking good.

But I awoke on Sunday to a beautiful day with pleasant temperatures and a clear sky. The bride was in deed very lucky. Her wedding and reception were beautiful. Not a drop of rain fell … until the end of the day, when the weather reports came true and the rain began.

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NO MORE CONTACTS

Wow!!! I am so excited and can hardly believe that I once again have my 20-year-old eyes. That’s right, in March I had cataract surgery and my distant vision has now improved to 20/25. The best news is that now I don’t have to wear my contact lenses any more. It sure would be nice if there were surgery for wrinkles, aches, and pains, etc, just like the cataract surgery to give me back my entire 20-year-old body.

As happy as I am, I must admit it also came with a slight downside. Now that I can see so much better, I also see all kinds of dust and dirt in my house that I hadn’t seen for a long time. As a result, I have cleaned my stove and refrigerator and wiped down my walls, etc since my surgery.

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